Saturday, April 06, 2013

5 things. 6th April

  1. I only really like Pinterest now (and Facebook for looking at pictures of ex-colleagues whose names I don't remember at other peoples' weddings).   All you need to do is look at pictures.  My idea is that it functions on the basis that "a picture speaks a thousand words", i.e. one picture of a person dressed as a fluffy dog with a fluffy dog on a lead = 4 mediocre web-blog posts from me about nothing in particular.  If you would like to see my collections of images of people dressed as animals and animals dressed as people, you can look at them here.  I don't think you'll be disappointed.
  2. At work, the newspapers and articles and internet 'experts' & other things we have to read to do our jobs talk about 'digital natives' and Generation I (not sure how we got there from Y but no matter, I do not decide these things). These are the 2-year-olds who are on your iPad posting reviews of the latest Dora the Explorer & 'accidentally' buying ponies online.  I don't understand why people are still talking about this like it's something amazing - it's not.
  3. What is terrifying, however, is the fact that 70% of children under 10 contribute to decisions made around 'major household purchases'.  This is far more terrifying to me than 2 year olds on iPads.  In my mind, it is always the 70s, and small children are in Fair Isle jumpers on the compost heap at the bottom of the garden playing with sticks and worms, not contributing to a lively debate about whether or not the next family holiday will be in St Barts or 'Turks' (whatever the fuck that is) over a delicious kale salad.   I will not link to the blog in question, but apparently children like this truly do exist and here is the proof:

    The other night, he exclaimed “Goodness Gracious!  This salad is delicious!  I love it!!!”  And yesterday, as he chowed down another big bowl of kale salad, he said with bulging eyes “Mama! I can’t stop!  This is so delicious!”

    Christ on a bike.
  4. I do however  want a version of Gogglebox that is the viewer watching the viewers of the TV programmes. It could go on indefinitely, like those halls of mirrors. If you are in the yew-kay (or can do something tricky so 4oD thinks you are), you can watch it here.  I find it very funny.
  5. Alice and Chris off of the Archers are talking like Canada like it is the promised land. They need to be very careful about this, & they also need to be aware that if they are going to Vancouver they are not going to be able to 'live in a house', set up a horseshoeing shop, or go skiing every night (unless Alice is going to be paid $500,000 a year).   My only regret is that it's not theTomArcherbrand going to Canada. The bit of Canada that is Nunavut where there are airports that have no roads in and out of them. That part of Canada.
*NB We will be laughing our tits off at the quaint charm of "Pinterest", "Facebook", "Instagram" and "iPhone" in about 3 months' time, but bear with me for the (transient, everything shall come to dust) moment.


asta said...

I have missed these.

re Kale Lady:

The Beans that Blew My Cares Away, is a recipe name that will stay with me forever.

The Reluctant Launderer said...

It has to be Goop, right?

Dave Shelton said...

Recent Tom Archer-based developments to your liking though?

We're hoping for an eventual suicide (preferably by throwing himself into his own sausage machine) here.

Bipasha said...

I appreciate your blog post, beautifully expressed and well written.

Soozm said...

There aren't any children who eat kale, there just aren't. Unless they are starved and heavily sedated. Real parental success is when they eat something other than twiglets and Jaffa cakes.

Lynne Dixon said...

Friend of mine is bringing her kids up 70s style, like this: I think you'll like it if you're not convulsed in mirth over "Blipfoto" ;-)
Just re-discovered your blog after ooh ages! Good to see you're still "at it" in the Canadia.

Anonymous said...

If we manage to have Tom Archer killed off will you recommence with your blog please?
We all miss it.


HULLO ANON I am starting it again! Your words soothe and encourage. Can they cure what I think is ear dandruff though? Only time will tell.


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