Thursday, January 02, 2014

What I won't be doing in 2014

Yes. It is 2014. Here are the things I will continue not to do this year:
  • "Work on" myself, unless in expected and/or polite ways, e.g. trimming ladygarden when wearing hotpants, bleaching moustache, cleaning intimate areas with damp flannel before going out on hot days, etc
  • Have an "attitude of gratitude" or claim to be "digging deeper"
  • Wear undercrackers of any brand other than the Sloggis that go up to your waist and are 3% elastic
  • Do the Namaste bow/greeting thing
  • Eat cucumber
  • Enjoy the oeuvre of Sting
  • Get rid of the itch in my ear which is EITHER eczema OR ear dandruff*
  • Use up all my laser hair removal vouchers (paid in full c. 2010) despite moustache and hotpants (see above)
  • Pick up stuff I leave on the floor (e.g. bits of paper, fluff, safety pins, etc) 
  • Eat enough fish.
What will you continue not to do this year?

* Mike on 'The Shahs of Sunset' was diagnosed with ear dandruff and it looked pretty much like what I have. Having enjoyed a quick search of said affliction on Google I discovered that a) dandruff is a fungus (or 'champignon' in French), and b) you treat it with clotrimazole, which informed readers know is what is in the Canesten you use when you are trying to treat your chuff itch.



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5 comments:

T said...

I will continue, if at all possible, not to engage in gainful employment.

NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

If only I could join you in that best and most pleasurable of states

Leilani Lee said...

Well, I believe I also have ear dandruff. I have to decide if I will continue to not do anything about it or not to not continue to do anything about it. Because you have so helpfully explained what to do about, I expect I will do something about it.

Bytowner said...

I will continue not to think outside the box, or do a deep dive on any subject.
I will however, continue to check your marvellous weblog of the non-working state from time to time, hoping that a few pearls have been left for us working swine.
Also will probably have to keep working.

NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

I am sorry about the working AND the ear eczema. For all of us.

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