"Listen up, kittycats", I reply, doing some fancy footwork with my tiny monkey feet as Music Sounds Better With You plays inside my monkey brain. "I've been in Canada for nearly eight years. I've tried to find things to write about, but it's all so very nice and so very reasonable that nothing ever happens (apart from accidentally insulting Bryan Adams*). But all that is going to change."
Yes. Change is afoot. I am going to tell you all you need to know. And all you need to know is that I (accompanied by a veterinary research histopathologist - who thankfully no longer cuts his own hair), am moving back to EUROPE, possibly Blighty, possibly La France, and that means that there is a HIGH CHANCE that things of interest will start happening again, and therefore a HIGH CHANCE that there may be things to write about again.
Yes. It is true. Come "the fall" (or "autumn", as it will once again be correctly known), we will be gone from the Canada. I will not spend much time explaining why we are leaving, other than to say that in my view Canada is a very honourable, large and beautiful place, with values that (on the whole) I deeply admire and respect. But it does not contain much of what I - sofa-bound lily-livered Londoner that I am - like the best, and what I like the best (apart from my husband) are my friends and family, drizzle, temperate weather, old buildings, patchy public transport susceptible to minor variations in weather, a 2 hour drive being "a really long way", and Waitrose.
I am very excited.
* True story. Will elaborate if anyone is interested.