Five (5) Things: Tuesday February 5th

I needed a magazine the other day. They were out of Horse and Hound and  Harvard Business Review*, so I bought one with Oprah Winfrey ** on the front and read an article in which a lady said that it was a good idea to write down 5 'moments' you have had that day before you go to bed.

I can't remember why this was a good idea - something to do with understanding that life is made up of good days (e.g. finding a Rolo down the back of the sofa) and bad days (you realise you are going to die one day and haven't decided on CofE service inc. Lord's Prayer, Morning Has Broken and Once In Royal David's City even if it isn't Christmas OR wicker box that you put on the BBQ then bury with the cabbages), but that normally you just keep on going and things are OK.

I don't know what a 'moment' is, exactly ('moment' gone into the same pot - labelled Words That Don't Mean The Same Thing Anymore - as 'connected' and 'meaningful'), but I thought I might try it for a while and see what happens.

OK here we go. First things that come into my head. Day 1. 

1. Had a bit of old salmon that was a bit dried up on the edge in my scrambled eggs. Spent quite a long time thinking that the egg would rehydrate the salmon then got a bit of salmon stuck in the tooth that needs a new crown, which led me to think about the ambitious 'endodentiste' and his spats.  
2. Had to lie on bed with legs in the air to get on boots.  Took them off and wore something else instead.
3. Went to sales conference where "Edge of Glory" was the theme tune and people with headsets made shampoo salesmen clap.
4. Sat in a car with a heated seat and was accused of being in love with a marketing director and going HA HA HA HA HA at all his jokes really loudly like I loved him.
5. Ate a blueberry yoghurt with a long spoon.

*  In truth, I only subscribe to one of these publications.

** I do not know what has happened to Oprah Winfrey since her TV station broke, but she must be quite poor if she has to lend her voice to this fuck-awful piece of advertising.  It is the sort of shit that a) gives advertising a bad name; b) makes anyone with ill-informed prejudices about American sentimental nationalism think they may in fact have a point.