I would like to be clear about my feelings re. cats. They are OK because you don't need to take them for walks, pick up their poo or give them nosebags. They are annoying because they miaow in the night, wee in a box and don't do tricks (unless
you are Russian.) There is no way you could describe me as a 'cat lover', for e.g. I do not have a cat-faced mug and I do not talk about the cats that I have experienced like they are my friends, have personalities or - heaven help us - are my furry babies. (But I have
visited a Cat Museum.)
It may be a surprise to hear that I have, in fact, lived with cats. Here is the list:
Adopted when drunk from friend of friend with a stupid pug ("There are two cats on your bed! You hate cats! What's happening?", said my friend Polly when she first saw them):
Monster: swinging belly, mental,
apples fell on his head, now lives in Bromley but would be 19 by now so is probably dead
Squiffy: tiny, squeaky, nice, died of kidney failure despite the 500 British pound kidney dialysis
Joint custody of two cats with husband's ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend:
Corndog: Had kittens and hid them in a bush, fat, hairy, mental
Oustiti: Tiny, long whiskers, not annoying.
There is also
Ziggy, who I have just looked after for a week. The reason that Ziggy is remarkable - and here is The Theme - is that Ziggy is fat. Monster was fat (fat when I got him, fat when he left), and Corndog is fat.
Fat cats are funny. Pls do not put in comments boxes "it is terrible your cats are fat feed them less make them run round the garden people like you should not be allowed to have cats imagine what the council would say if you did that to your children" (etc). Monster was on a diet but had hanging skin. Corndog is not my cat (she is my husband's, and he is a veterinariariariarian, as is her other owner), and Ziggy is not mine. So don't bother.
Other people have, and it hasn't made a difference. For e.g., a few weeks ago, as Corndog lay on her back sunning her gigantic belly in the garden of her part-owner, the 6ft 3, 276lb
Georges Laraque, famous ex-hockey player for the Montreal Canadiens, leant off the balcony of the flat above (blocking out the sun), and bellowed: "Ton chat est obèse. Il devrait être végétarien."*
Corndog is not vegetarian, and is still fat. There may be a connection, there may not. She also features quite heavily in this gallery of fat cat photographs, which you may enjoy. Or may not. As you wish. (Apologies to anyone who has seen these pictures already via the
Twitter or the Instagram etc - although I am sure you will appreciate their collective weight. No pun intended etc.)
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| Monster, now of Bromley. A photograph familier to regular readers and/or fans |
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| Ziggy of Montreal |
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| Ziggy |
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| Also Ziggy |
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| Corndog |
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| Also Corndog |
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| Corndog left out in the rain for too long because I was laughing |
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| Corndog on the knee of the pathologist. No idea where horrid cushion came from, or where it has gone to |
That's it for now. If I find any more I will let you know.
Pip "Low Fat Iams" Pip
NWM
*"Your cat is obese. You should put it on a vegetarian diet."
14 comments:
Very good, except that I'd have made that into at least five posts - or maybe dogs are more interesting than cats because I've been droning on for ages about dogs, offered to stop and was begged to continue...anyway, I think fat is fine in a cat. They all look happy except Corndog who is probably my favourite for that reason.
My cat is also fat. But he eats the same amount of food as every other cat we've had, and they were all tiny and thin. Genetics, innit. Can't fight destiny.
I have a big cat, or, at least, he used to be big, over 7kg. He is now 5.5kg due to a dodgy thyroid(for which he is now on medication) and age which is gradually whittling him away (he is 16). It is very sad.
I trust I have not made you all feel gloomy !!!
I like these cats. They are funny and also I wish I could get away with stretching out and not caring a bit like they do. Also, my friend, a smart person and animal lover, adopted a cat that was fed sensibly but fat. Really fat. Many vets were seen over the years for the normal stuff shots and that and most suggested the diet the cat was already on. Then a new vet told her " Your cat need more fiber. She needs more movement. In her bowels" My friend fed her cat a little canned pumpkin as recommended and the cat shat and shat and shat and experienced relief. I hope that was not too much info and that I have not shared this on your blog in the past already. That's all :).
There is no such thing as a healthy vegetarian cat. Cats are obligate carnivores. In fact, the grains used as binder in dry cat food are a big culprit in overweight cats, as is overfeeding. Fat cats are not funny. That obese cat would probably be far, far better off on a raw diet, or a wet food diet, or a low-grain/grain-free dry diet.
Thank you, Anon. I believe the owners of said cats read this blog, so will see your comment.
JPM, I can never look at a pumpkin in the same way again.
No one who spends 500 British pounds on kidney dialysis for a cat can claim to not love cats.
You is rumbled.
Well I admit I liked him a lot but he is not all cats. Also he paid for it himself out of his pocket money that I definitely did not give him.
Ha! Your fat cats - and your post/photos about them - ARE hilarious. I was just giggling so loudly on reading your post that the fat cat snoozing on my sofa (not mine, I too have temporary custody of said feline) woke up and squeaked at me.
I can attest to the bowel-moving qualities of pumpkin, well, our feline overlord can. At 16, he has a few issues with daily downloads so we find that pumpkin helps. Surprisingly, he doesn't despise it as is the case with any other vegetable. We are vegans - yes, I can hear the sighs - but we certainly wouldn't impose that choice on the cat who is a pure pescatarian because he shuns everything else.
Putting a cat on a vegetarian diet is about as smart and beneficial - as putting a human being on a diet that consists exclusively of bananas... If the cat enjoys veggies along with meat/fish, then his bowels will be thankful. If he doesn't, then pumpkin sneakily blended into his food should work after a while. But it's not going to make him skinny.
Also, cats come in all shapes and sizes. Some are naturally lean, others are prone to being cuddlier, some have a big appetite and others do not, just like people. The 100+ cats at the local shelter - who make up most of my Instagram feed these days - are all fed the same thing at the same time twice a day, eating as much or as little as they need/want. Of course, they're all different sizes and weights. We have big-boned moggies, we have tiny cats, we have athletic cats...
Lastly, the vegetarian argument is bull, even for people. Hands up if you have never met a fat vegetarian... Fat vegans also exist, as do super-lean omnivores living off junk food.
And no, I am not a fat vegan, FYI.
Dearest NWM: I admire you, your wit, your writing skills, your unique point of view on mankind in general, and your ardent desire to NW. But cats? What next, a sudden desire to date Sting?
C'mon.
I am super-great, you are right. Also, this is not about me loving cats etc (because I don't but I think they are OK, although not as good as dogs), it is about how amusing pictures of fat cats are. It is not the same thing you know it !!!!!
I just managed to rid myself of two cats that are not mine (by going to the extreme of moving away from the cats. This is an expensive option but it works very well). One was reasonably bearable but incredibly hairy and left enormous great wodges of hair everywhere. The other was a great whopping horror who walked on your face when he decided it was time for you to get up - generally starting at 3:30. I called him Fink because he was.
If either of them had had the good sense to a) be fat and b) sit on beds and couches in such ridiculous positions I might have liked them better.
[note: cats are like babies. I enjoy them far more when they belong to other people and I can give them back when I'm tired of them]
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