Dirty skirting boards that are over 100 years old should not be cleaned with modern substances like 'Cillit Bang' or 'Easy Off Fume Free Oven Cleaner'.They should be cleaned using proper old-fashioned methods that involve scrubbing, rubbing, tinctures and the sort of chemicals that were banned in some Eastern European countries as recently as 1983.
Luckily for me - and also maybe you, of which more later in this post - I have two books full of such methods. This is just as well, because my own skirting boards (c. 1908, i.e. not that old for England, excitingly antique for Canada) are the sort of filthy that makes visitors ignore your pristine lavatory bowl and leave your house convinced that weevils live in your pants.
Book One: Every Woman's Enquire Within
A.C. Marshall, editor of Tit-Bits Book of Wrinkles (who, exactly, Tit-Bit was, and where his wrinkles were is another matter altogether) also edited this magnificent tome, first published in 1938. It is only for "Home-loving women", and touches on a range of topics including Home Management, Character and Fortune, General Knowledge, Home Maintenance, Etiquette and Correspondence and Practical Home Cookery.
Luckily for me - and also maybe you, of which more later in this post - I have two books full of such methods. This is just as well, because my own skirting boards (c. 1908, i.e. not that old for England, excitingly antique for Canada) are the sort of filthy that makes visitors ignore your pristine lavatory bowl and leave your house convinced that weevils live in your pants.
Book One: Every Woman's Enquire Within
A.C. Marshall, editor of Tit-Bits Book of Wrinkles (who, exactly, Tit-Bit was, and where his wrinkles were is another matter altogether) also edited this magnificent tome, first published in 1938. It is only for "Home-loving women", and touches on a range of topics including Home Management, Character and Fortune, General Knowledge, Home Maintenance, Etiquette and Correspondence and Practical Home Cookery.
Book Two: Spons' Household Manual
Published in 1897, this book reckons that ladies can cope with more than fortune-telling, and includes chapters on Water Supply, The Larder, Thieves and Fire, Receipts for Dishes, The Sickroom and Domestic Motors. (FYI the Spons are E & F N Spon).
Both books are very relevant in 2012. Of this I am convinced. For e.g., the very first paragraph of the preface of Spons' Household Manual could not predict that one day people in for e.g. Portland or Stockholm would be knitting the very socks on their feet whilst nipping down the sourdough starter hotel to chat to their mates about rennet:
The same is true of Every Woman's Enquire Within, which was extolling the virtues of a nice firm brush long before anyone thought that people in Hackney would one day be selling dustpans and brushes for 35 British pounds.
All this leads me to two conclusions:
1. That I will one day have clean skirting boards; more importantly
2. That I must offer a service to you, my adoring readers and/or fans.
Here's how it works:
You can send in a question (in the comments box) about any topic, and I will look it up and send you Advice From The Past. If you are lucky, you will get 1897 advice and 1938 advice (which would be like comparing now to 1971, which not many of us like to do). If you are really lucky, the Sponses and A. C. Marshall (guided by me) will also be able to fix whatever it is that ails you.
Come on then ! Let's see what you got !
Pip "Rub it with tincture of myrrh" Pip
NWM
P.S. This post is inspired in part by The Voice of Boo's v. excellent posts on Nancy Spain. I have not yet told her that I own The Holiday Inn International Cookbook (1970), which is dedicated to Ruby "Doll" Wilson and contains a recipe for "Beef A La Holiday".
8 comments:
What ARE the foremost duties of my servants?
THAT IS REALLY GOOD. OK I am going to look now. Back soon.
3am here, and wishing I were non-working too, cos it is the Office that sends my mind to spinning.
Is there a remedy for insomnia?
Special K - more anon, for the subject is broad, and we have a Spon Emergency on our hands.
Jane - only Spon can help. "The difficulties about sleep and sleeplessness - apart from dreams [say they, ominously] - are almost always fruits of a perverse refusal to comply with the laws of nature. Take, for example, the case of a man who cannot sleep at night, or rather who, having fallen asleep, wakes. If he is what is called strong-minded, he thinks, or perhaps reads, and falls asleep again. This being repeated lays the foundation of a habit of waking in the night and thinking or reading to induce sleep. Before long the thinking or reading fails to induce sleep, and habitual sleeplessness occurs, for which remedies are sought and mischief is done. If only he would get up and do a full day's work, of any sort, and not dose during the day, when next the night came around his 16 or 20 hours of wakefulness would be rewarded by a sleep of 9-10 hours in length." If that doesn't work, Spon recommends having a wash in carbolic soap, a short walk of 20 minutes, staying off tea and coffee, hops, and not eating for an hour before going to bed. And if those don't work, 'common raw onions raw, but Spanish stewed onions will do'.
Do either of these excellent manuals have chapters on travel? Having just spent two days cursing my way through three airports I think I need some remedial packing training.
I quite like the insomnia answer, but when I get up in the night, so do my two annoying dogs, who are eager for 'action' of any sort, especially if it involves going outdoors, which, it being the middle of the night and all, I am not inclined to do. Their disappointment is palpable. So doing an extra full day's work is out.
So let me open another topic: is cleanliness really next to godliness? I have such a suspicion that standards in these matters have been raised absurdly high in these germophobic times, and that your experts might have a more reasonable view, along the lines of having a bath once a week whether one needs it or not, except for houses, if you catch my drift.
DES you do not know what you have unleashed. I may be some time. The Sponses can't get enough of carbolic soap. Watch this space, my friend, watch this space.
I like how Spon's hours of wakefulness and sleep add up to at the very least 25! That's where I'm going wrong, as I always thought, not enough hours in the day.
The insomnia is getting to me, work is awful, I'm depressed and I've put on a stone. Any remedies for cheerfulness and/or weight loss?
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