I have been struggling

Normally, when I do one my world-famous (amongst readers of this web-blog) 'caption competitions', the winner announces itself to me without any effort on my behalf. This time, however, I have really had to 'have a think' (whilst watching back-to-back episodes of "Come Dine With Me" and eating biscuits).

Finally, however, I have come to a conclusion, and am happy to announce the winner: a "Mr Poopyhead", with the following excellently sweary caption:

"You put that fucking ribbon one inch closer to me, and I'll let out the mother of all shits right here on this table - you two motherfuckers feel me?"

We also have two runners-up, who were only narrowly beaten by the idea of a dog using the expression "you two motherfuckers feel me?".

In alphabetical order, the runners up are:

 Andy:

"Unfortunately, Celia's puppies were far from best in group". 

And Tea and Cake:

"Leave it lady, leave it."

Very strong work, all of you.

Pip "gong" Pip

NWM