Saturday, September 15, 2007

Day 430: I Identify A New Career

Regular readers will by now be stultifyingly aware that, next Thursday, I shall get on an aeroplane and fly to Montreal. There - for a while at least - I will sleep in the same bed night after night*, make jam, try and plan out a book and be nice to a self-haircutting veterinary pathologist. I am really looking forward to it.

But this bliss will not last forever, for I will at some point have to work again. I have been worried about it, I must confess; I do not particularly enjoy doing what I have done before, as it is fairly pointless and often frustrating (other people are involved, you see, including other people who are idiots).

Happily, however, I think I have found the answer! Last night, my oldest friend and I were in the street in Glasgow walking to the pub. "Look at that!", she mumbled, pointing at a shop. "That's good."

It is true. It was good, very good. Here is what we saw:

























I have been so inspired by what we saw last night that I have decided to make plates for a job in Canada.

There are many reasons why I think this would be a good thing for me to do:

1. Cheap to produce (inexpensive raw materials; low overheads)
2. Little or no skill required
3. Market already really big and will never get any smaller.

In fact, I have been so inspired that I have already made a start. I think it's going really well, but judge for yourself: this is a mock-up of what one of my plates could look like:



















If you would like to order a real one (that I will do with paint), then please email me at nonworkingmonkey@mac.com with a photograph of you and your special friend (or whoever else you would like me to put on it).

It is £60 for a side-plate, and £200 for a dinner plate. Mugs are £45 each. As a special introductory offer, I am 'throwing in' (no pun intended!) a pair of matching eggcups, one bearing the face of Pierre Trudeau, and the other Celine Dion.


* By July this year, I had slept in 34 different beds. I am still counting. (I am not a floozy, no no. There is only one person I have shared a bed with since 23 September 2006, and I rather hope that I will be sharing beds with him on 23 September 2008 and for a long time after that.)

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Doesn't look like 2005 was a good year for romance does it? Both those lovely plates in a knick knack shop already... shame.

NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

No no no. They were in the window of one of those 'come and paint a plate' shops, but were offered as an extra service by the proprietors. Fact.

JonathanM said...

Excellent! It will be the source of your fortune, and much more creative than crack waxing for a living. Obviously.

Although...

tea and cake said...

Cheap at the price!

You could get famous and put a plate by every bed you have slept in.

Morgan said...

If you start a plate-making company in Canada, can you give me a job? I'll be your non-working secretary.

Reading the Signs said...

I'm saving up for the dinner plate - it's my mum's 85th next year, we have a dysfunctional relationship and I'll be relying on the gift to put all that right.

Irene said...

Absolutely love the plate and just have to have one for my 15th anniversary next year. I have never seen anything so artistic yet full of style. It will match all my other dishes so well. I can't wait for the matching egg cups.

Will those be hand painted then and signed by you and dated? They could become collector's items. Are there shipping and handling charges?

So many details to think about!

Salome said...

That very shop is right round the corner from my house, and the plates change regularly, suggesting that many people are availing themselves of the service. You could well be onto something here...

The Muller said...

Hmmm ... It almost catches the zeitgeist, but the spelling needs to sharpened up.

I suggest Tru Luv 4 Evah

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