As they are with distance, the people of Canada are as hard as fucking nails when it comes to the weather.
For e.g., here is a Canadian train dealing with snow:
For e.g., here is a Canadian train dealing with snow:
And here is an English train dealing with snow:
"Snow is nothing but trouble", he moaned. Precisely.In case the point is not clear enough, I have taken some time out of my "busy schedule" (pronounced "skedjooll", rhymes with "Medjool") to build a simple chart that will demonstrate exactly what I mean. In it, I compare reactions to various temperature levels, England* vs. Canada**.
UPDATE: An eagle-eyed reader points out that the scale below should be C not F. And now we may begin:
In the winter in England, all you would have to do to get out of the house would be put on a coat, scarf and gloves and grumble a bit (maybe scrape a bit of frost off the windscreen), and get on your way. In Canada, you have to get special snow tyres put on and stock up on 100L of de-icer - then every day, you:
- Check weather the night before
- Wake up, see if car is still visible under 15ins of snow, realise it is not
- Drink coffee, get dressed quickly
- Put on large coat, big boots, insulated gloves, hat, scarf etc
- Pick up snow shovel, sigh
- Dig car out of snow
- Dig drive out of snow
- Sweat
- Take off large coat, big boots, gloves, hat, scarf etc
- Steam
- Have breakfast, have shower, put on clothes
- Put on large coat, big boots, insulated gloves, hat, scarf etc
- Make way to car already under another 4 ins of snow
- Turn on car, hope it starts
- Wait for heating to take temperature inside car from -25 to -10
- Drive off
- Hope to fuck the snowplough has been.
I will miss this very much, and am already preparing myself not to shout CALL THIS COLD? TRY SAYING THAT TO A CANADIAN!!! at the first English person who moans about the cold when I get back. Still, at least I'll only need one coat.
NWM
* When I say 'England', I probably mean lily-livered Southerners, of which I am one. As any fule kno, the Scottish and Northerners are as hard as fucking nails and should not be messed with in any circumstances. I cannot speak for the Welsh.
** When I say 'Canada', I mean East Coast Canada, or more specifically Quebec, where I live. As we all know Toronto has semi-tropical climate compared to that of Quebec, and Vancouver's climate is like that of Swansea. I have never been to the prairies, Alberta, the Northern Territories, etc.