I present to you "How To Be A Bad Boss: Be A Negative Detail Monkey"

I think you are going to like it a lot. Today: how to completely demotivate everyone around you by focusing on negative detail like an insecure cockmonkey.

I direct another smash-hit feature film

Good news, adoring readers and/or (new) fans: I have made another 'blockbuster movie' using free animation software.

It is the new one in a series called "How To Be A Bad Boss"; the others may make an appearance at some point*, but I am working on another web-blog about work (i.e. no recipes, pictures of rude signs**, stories about chewing gum, etc), and at the moment they live there. (The new web-blog is not ready for general release for many reasons, i.e. it may be shit and I'm not sure what to call it yet, although "Who Owns The Yes?" is a strong contender.)

Anyway, here we are. Here is my new full-length feature. I hope you enjoy it.  It was not produced by Sarah Ferguson or Madonna.





* They are very easy to find on the YouTube if you can be bothered, plus my special Facebook fans  got a link to one yesterday. They are really lucky.

** I saw this when I first moved to Canada. I am still angry, so angry that I only had my mobile phone camera with me, but it was enough to capture the essence of the thing. One day, I will send it to Fail Blog.

I prepare the badges

Astonishing news: the badges are in their envelopes, ready for despatch. The print quality is remarkably low, due mainly to the fact that the 'typography' (i.e, letters put together to make words) was done in PowerPoint and then screen-grabbed. Do not mess with me! I do not spare any effort when it comes to producing high-quality tat.

My handwriting is virtually illegible, so if you have asked for one and it comes, don't expect to be able to read what I've written on the accompanying note - just be grateful that it got to you at all.  An example loiters on the left - this was me putting a new cartridge in my pen and getting the nib going (as the actress said to the bishop), and it says "Monkeys in a tree, all in a tree." Obviously.






Anyroad up, here is the list of people who are getting one - if you've asked for one and aren't on the list, let me know - I have a few left which is odd, because only yesterday I had none (i.e., 0) left according to my calculations. Here we are:

1. Neil
2. Jonathan
3. Sherry
4. Tracy
5. Glamourous Finnish person with very unusual (to me, but maybe not in Finland) name so I won't repeat it here
6. Shelley
7. Tracie
8. Martin
9. John
10. Jenny
11. Fiona
12. Emily

(Some others have already been despatched under separate cover.)

That is all for now. Tomorrow, I will be asking you (i.e, you my adoring readers and/or fans) for your help.  Can you wait? Probably not. I know, it's difficult, isn't it? Like Christmas Eve every day, but with extra sherry.

Pip pip!

NWM

P.S. I trust you approve of the new header thing.  It is like it used to be a great many years ago (i.e. 3). The illustration is as usual the work of the genius Dave Shelton, whose new book can be found here; originally drawn when I lived in Brixton (in that London), it applies as much now in Montreal (in Canada), which is both good and mildly puzzling.

I give you some recipes

Readers! If you are not in the mood for reading about recipes, etc, then do not bother to read this post. It is about baking (ish), and contains recipes for:

1. Granola bars: usually disgusting, but not in this case;
2. North Staffordshire Oatcakes, underestimated miracle food;
3. Lemon and Lavender biscuits, not quite seasonal yet but best to be prepared, for they enable time and space travel.

(I put in a 'next page' thing but it's not always showing - if it's not, a rapid squeeze on the header will take you to the whole enthralling thing. Lucky you.)

I assemble some random information in a freestyle format

Yes, it is Saturday. Today is exciting. Why? Because the badges have arrived. (And it is Saturday.)

Here is my woollen effigy wearing them both: how smart I look! How elegant! How ... ready for inaction!

Anyone who emailed asking for one: they will be dispatched this week, possibly with a note hand-written by me; possibly not. (I love a great many things about Canada, but Canada Post is not one of them, so do not expect them before August.)

If anyone else would like one, I am sorry to say that I won't have any left after I have sent out those that have already been requested, but the good news is that you may order them yourselves at my online repository of tat. (For every badge you buy, I make 15 cents, so see yourselves as sustaining me through this period of literal non-workingness.)

In other news, on Monday I said goodbye to a magnificent visitor - the lovely Anna of Little Red Boat. We had quite the adventure(s), I must tell you, documented in very little detail below, but all this is as nothing compared to her endless patience and idea-giving ref. all kinds of things. Bref (as they say in some French-speaking countries), if my photographs suddenly look better, if I start doing animation things, etc, it is because of her idea-head. On top of this, in her real life she is actually a proper writer and an excellent guest. Anyway, here are some pictures of some stuff:

Is it an egg or isn't it?

Montreal on a gloomy day is rubbish, unless your walk ends with a bloody chocolate egg that looks exactly like a real egg for 30% off!!!



**The bloody page break link is not always showing, so if you want to see more hot snaps, press smartly on the header to this post.**