Sometimes my joy is so enormous that I want to thank you by giving you something; sending you things, perhaps - things you can touch and/or feel and manipulate, and that will remind you of me.
But is that right? Should I be thanking you by reminding you of me (i.e., me, NWM), or should I be reminding you to be non-working (in your hearts) by providing you with a small and subtle item that you can secrete about your person and finger gently when you are having a bad day in the office?
I was going to make a sort of necklace with my head on that you could wear (a bit like this, but much better looking, i.e. more like me), but my tiny little monkey hands aren't that nimble. Instead, I spent over five (5) minutes designing a badge (or "pin" in North America) that I think is a triumph of its genre. Here it is:
Why is this badge nice? Here is why.
1. It is available in both the official languages of Canada: English and French.
2. You can wear it outside if you want to make a 'statement', or inside (inside your pants for e.g.) if you want to talk to yourself.
You can buy it if you like (in English here and in French here - don't forget to look at my other magnificent branded merchandise, including my new Logo for Toronto tie and shopping bag), but I am better than that. I would like to give some badges away and put them in an envelope and post them myself. I am not even going to do a competition. I am just going to send 10 of these badges (RRP $1.45) to the first 10 readers to give me an OK reason for wanting one. Not "good". Just "OK".
Come on then!!!
* Like those Japanese t-shirts that have a picture of a kitten on with strange words, e.g. "kitty says flower pring prang triumph!"
27 comments:
1 badge per person, up to 10 people. Not 10 badges to 10 readers. No.
I would wear it to work!
hi. my okay reason is this - i, too, am a monkey, and i, too, am currently (almost) non working. a badge would be a glorious stating of the obvious in a way both stylish and subtle. i could wear it with a cocktail dress while drinking a large and serious cocktail. i could wear it when i run to the store for some light shopping, so that i am able to cook mr. monkey the kind of dinner a working mr. monkey deserves. i could wear it to bed...well, you get the idea.
en anglais, s'il vous plait, but not necessarily.
I teach in a French immersion school, and I think the kids would love to see the French version. Also, it's really hard to find cool French things in BC, and that badge is definitely cool.
I'd like one because I could wear it to work. I maintain that there is a difference between bring working and being employed. I'm sure you could agree.
(I should also apologise for lurking here for many months and never saying hello.)
Hello! I need one in English, so that my French students will ask me what it means and I can convincingly explain to them that it is a well-known phrase used and understood by all anglophones. They will believe me because they are French, and therefore already understand the concept of being non-working even while at work. Or at least in my class.
I don't want a badge, I have far too many things that I have to put in drawers or on shelves and then I have to dust them or hide them from people who might run a finger along my shelves and make a disparaging comment on how they could write their name if they wanted to SO I HAVEN'T DUSTED FOR A WHILE IS THAT A PROBLEM? They should see the state of the floor under the bed.
Where was I? Oh yes, lovely badges, don't send me one. Thank you for listening.
I think I need one of these so desperately! I am truly not-working in my heart, although gainfully employed. It would give me secret glee to hide this on my person! I also have vast quantities of pointless stuff I don't dust, but I need one anyhow.
Thanks!
When I started reading this post (avidly as always) I thought, “Badges? Why would I want a badge? I'm no longer nine years old.” But then I read your brilliant suggestion of putting a badge inside one's pants.
This got me thinking of somewhat unkind things that have been said in the past suggesting that having something more interesting there would be a very good idea. A NWM badge would be perfect (en francais s'il te plait) as that would hint at a bohemian lifestyle and add even more to my mystery and intrigue. It would also be an interesting talking point and possibly a useful diversion.
So please consider me for one of your ten prizes – this could transform my life!
Today is the first day of my two week Easter holiday. But instead of lying around all day eating and reading I had to go to Vision Express and have them extract half a torn contact lens from my right eye. Now I have a sore eye. Therefore I deserve a badge for being a brave soldier/whinging tart.
Is "Because I want one" a good enough reason? Because I want one.
Oh, how I need that badge! I need to wear it every day to remind me to be brave and become non-working (although hopefully not for too long) when my not-good-for-me-but-safe job ends in a few months and they ask me whether I'll stay here. I salute your non-workingness!
So far, you can all have one (if you want one), even if that is more than 10.
Email is: nonworkingmonkey@mac.com
Put in the title BADGE then the language you want, not because I get so many emails I can't keep up (although that is a bit true), but because I am easily distracted and won't be able to match everything up.
Do it!
I am truly in need of one as I have lost my "I am a non-working donkey" badge and I can cross out the 'M' of your badge and no one need know of my donkey-based-loss.
I need one as I am permanently non working and sick of explaining it to people who just don't understand. A badge would simplify things tremendously.
YES YOU CAN HAVE ONE but you need to send me your address if you actually want to physically have one in your hand. Yes.
I mostly sit alone in a room contemplating the wankery of artistes, and require something to look down upon to remind me of what I'm supposed to be doing. English or French; it matters not.
I am number 14 or so--I'm going out on a limb and emailing you anyway. Because I am cheeky like that.
Although I am comment #19, I NEED A BADGE. Because I work for members of the HIWE* clan who believe that what I do is not real work anyway, despite the fact that they could not do it even if their overpaid lives depended on it.
*highly intelligent, well educated
I don't need a badge. I just wish I could call myself a non-working monkey, too. That would be so nice. I could just do it, but would that make it real?
Unfortunately, by the look of things, I am a working non-monkey more than the opposite. This saddens me.
Why me? I like getting small packages in the mail.
Special K, it is a joy to have you back among us. Please send address as soon as possible.
Krazy Kitty, Zoe, Wrath (of Dawn), remember - you can be non-working in your heart whilst being literally working. It is a state of mind, not a physical state (although it can be both). I will be writing a reminder about all of this very soon. It may change your mind. Yes.
Dame Emma, Punxxi - of course you may have one.
Everyone else: there are more than 10 badges. There are about um 15. So far I have had about 8 emails so it will be first emails received, first sent.
Come on!!!
It's Just Me - hello and welcome - do you feel naked or OK about saying you are here? You can have a badge. So can you, everyone else who has asked for one. Come on. Come on.
i have taken a chance and emailed requesting a french one so i can wear it to wk and the idiots i am surrounded by dont understand and i can giggle!
oh i also found this on etsy for you - there are LOTS of monkies with fez...
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21032448&ref=sr_gallery_5&&ga_search_query=monkey+with+fez&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title
i would like a badge coz you is nang. innit
I don't think I qualify for a badge because I have yet to accomplish the feat of being non-working in my heart while actually working. I have an $8/hour call center job that ... well... let's just say I shouldn't be busting my ass for that amount of money with no change of advancement, but still I do...
really marvelloous work done by the wrioter by the writer. Keep it upp………..
Work From Home India
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