I watch wedding porn, Pt 2

Regular readers will be aware of my last foray into wedding porn, from which I emerged slightly soiled and confused.

Time has passed; our own wedding date approaches. It is not causing too much trouble, as we are untroubled by the things that trouble other people (calligraphy, wedding invitations that involve at least 3 envelopes, matching bridesmaids, etc); for example, in the last 24 hours we have arranged the entire thing, including a banjo player in a cardboard boat (complete with fishing rod and inflatable fish) who has been booked to play "Besame Mucho" whilst our adoring friends and family suck from 2 pint buckets of neat gin. (We shall position him in the over-wrought fireplace of the 'venooo' and he will look as if he is rowing out of it. It will be brilliant.)

Meanwhile, the wedding ladies in the "Blog O'Sphere", as I believe it is called, keep going with their parasols and identically-posed photographs. If you want to, you can order 25 sugar lumps, each one iced with a decoration of your choice, for $100. If you are having a fashionable wedding, you may well have 'succulents' in your wedding flowers; if you do not do that, you will use Mason jars for everything, including candles, glasses, flowers, 'wedding favors' and, unaccountably, place cards.*








































And if you are not using Mason jars, you will probably be using blackboards (or "chalkboards", as they are called in Great Britain). You will use these chalkboards for everything, including directions to your venooo, cake labels, place labels or Mason jar labels. Mason jars and chalkboards. Chalkboards and mason jars. Me, I just want there to be enough beverages.

But still. If anyone looking for genuine wedding porn has got this far, I will direct you to one place and one place only: the Victoria and Albert Museum, who have had the brilliant idea of building a kind of online archive of wedding photographs through the ages. It is quite brilliant: hilarious and strangely moving. And, if you can't get away from Mason jars, chalkboards and the need to spend over $1,000 on 50 Letterpress wedding invitation 'suites', really rather inspiring.






























































* Old jars have always looked pretty with candles and flowers in them, but now it is a "trend", so we must take it very seriously.

I realise that it is difficult to translate accurately the excellent French word, "con"

I recommend some courgette muffins

...Or "zucchini", if you are North American.

Yes, my friends. If you are growing courgettes (or zucchini) in your garden and then one day realise that they out of control and enormous, do not despair, and do not think about bad things like stuffed marrow. No. Instead, grasp your over-sized squash in your soft receiving hands and hasten to your kitchen, there to transform them into muffins. (Do not balk at this: carrot muffins make sense, so why not courgette muffins?).

Anyway, I made these on Saturday. They are utterly, remarkably delicious. I found the recipe here and agree with the author in all ways, except I would highly recommend making them with olive oil not butter, and (because of what I had in my cupboard), I replaced all that cinnamon and the nutmeg with 1 1/2 tsp ginger and 1 tsp cinnamon.

If you do not have cups (because you are in Europe and able to do complicated things with ounces and/or grams), I will not translate the measurements but will direct you here instead so you can do it yourself.

INGREDIENTS
3 cups grated fresh zucchini
2/3 cup melted unsalted butter
1 1/3 cup sugar
2 eggs, beaten
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 teaspoons baking soda
Pinch salt
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1 cup walnuts (optional, but I used them)
1 cup raisins or dried cranberries (optional, but I used sultanas)

METHOD
"You don't need a mixer for this recipe. (No, you don't but I made them in the Kitchen Aid and grated the courgette in the processor)

Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). In a large bowl combine the sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Stir in the grated zucchini and then the melted butter. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the zucchini mixture and mix in. In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, nutmeg, and cinnamon. Stir these dry ingredients into the zucchini mixture. Stir in walnuts, raisins or cranberries if using.

Coat each muffin cup in your muffin pan with a little butter or vegetable oil spray. Use a spoon to distribute the muffin dough equally among the cups, filling the cups up completely. Bake on the middle rack until muffins are golden brown, and the top of the muffins bounce back when you press on them, about 25 to 30 minutes. Test with a long toothpick or a thin bamboo skewer to make sure the center of the muffins are done. Set on wire rack to cool for 5 minutes. Remove muffins from the tin let cool another 20 minutes.

Note, if you are including walnuts and dried fruit, you will likely have more batter than is needed for 12 muffins. I got about 14 muffins from this batch, and that included filling the muffin cups up as far as they could possibly go (above the surface of the muffin tin)."

She forgot "eat them up quick smart before thieving local children steal them as they cool on a rack in the kitchen window".

Note: these muffins contain no calories because they have grated vegetables in them. This also applies to carrot cake (contains carrots) and banana bread (contains bananas), but does not apply to Lemon Drizzle Cake which only has lemon juice in it, and that doesn't count.

I think this may be the best blog I have ever seen

Yes. This blog here, which includes 3 things like this:



Yes. Three only. This one, plus two more.

Too brief. All too brief.

I find some things stuffed inside an old book

The first: a postcard sent from Monterey in about 1996*; the second, a card for a pub that still exists (and enjoy, if you will, their excellent website) in Vauxhall, picked up in a phone box in Brixton in 1992. What memories!






* Note: the man featured in this postcard looks nothing like the pathologist I am to marry in less than two months. Whether my hooters are represented in the second, I cannot and will not say.