Day 163: I Question The Existence Of God In Sainsbury's Local

I have a common face. That, or I look simple. Only this can explain why I am asked for directions wherever I go (Montreal, Vienna, New York, Cognac, Amsterdam, London - it doesn't matter; I just look like the kind of twat who knows where roads are), and why I come across lunatics in places where most people would merely exchange 34p for a pint of milk.

I went to Sainsbury's Local earlier. Nowhere else to go, as it happens, and I'm not taking my cash into the corner shop that smells of wee. I bought some smoked salmon, a paper, some fabric conditioner, some normal salmon that was not smoked and some green beans. I was called to Till Number 3.

Her: Happy Christmas in advance!
Me: Yes, you too!
Her: How will you be celebrating Christmas this year?
Me: Eating cake and watching Christmas Specials, mainly.
Her: You do not Believe?
Me: What in? God? No, not really.
Her: You do not believe that there can be Existence without a God?
Me: No, sadly. I wish I did.
Her: You cannot celebrate Christmas then!
Me: True. But I can eat cake and drink wine.
Her: This is hypocritical! You truly do not believe in the Lord?
Me: No. But I bet you do, don't you?
Her: Yes!
Me: Yes.
Her: It is not too late to seek salvation!
Me: Yes.
Her: You must trust in the one true saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ!
Me: I'm sure I must. Now, how much do I owe you?
Her: But Jesus LOVES you! £14.55.
Me: Thank you. Goodbye.
Her: Remember: Jesus Died For You.

For Christmas, I would like for the weird people to leave me alone.


As an aside: what's with this new Blogger stuff? You still can't do shortcut commands if you're on Mac and as for the 'tags' - I shall put 'beaver' in every one. Oh yes.