Sunday, February 13, 2011

I do more film reviews

There is a snow a-coming. They say, "O there will be 5-10cms falling, it is only light", but then you find that the day is broken into four blocks, each containing 5-10cms, and that in fact what is happening is that the snow is going on and on and on and we are going to die.

Still, we do not care. Why? Because there is a) television; and b) films to watch. And also review.  Yes, it is true. My last film reviews were so well-received by you, my adoring readers and/or fans, that I have decided to give you some pleasure by doing some more, reaching back maybe 3 months into my consumption history.   OK here goes.

Going the distance
In this film, Drew Barrymore plays herself having long-distance relationship with a man who was actually her boyfriend in real life, so there is not much acting in it.  Unsurprisingly, they end up together in the end. Surprisingly, I laughed like a drain a number of times.  The funny bits are all the bits that Drew Barrymore and her boyfriend are not in.

(NB: I was not drunk, and watched it alone in a tiny apartment in Paris, accompanied by two mice and a cockroach called Jules.)

It is OK but there is a message in it about taking care of the earth etc., and I couldn't see what was so wrong about going everywhere in a mini-hovercraft. I watched it on a plane next to a man with a moustache.

Kitchen Stories
In this film, a Swedish man on a tall ladder watches a Norwegian man move around in his kitchen.  It is brilliant.  It also came out quite a long time ago, but I have never claimed to be either "with it" or "down with the kids", so it doesn't matter.

Route 132
A Quebec film that I do not recommend unless you like following words and/or expressions:

"dead child"
"wise aunt"
"crime that you will get caught for"

The bit with the crosses in the water was quite good. My husband liked it, but then he is a bleak Quebecker.

Life As We Know It
Sometimes, I forget things. My name. My address. My pin number. All my passwords.  Why the fuck I ever paid $4.99 for this film on iTunes.

The September Issue
Highly diverting if you are tired and still wearing Autumn/Winter 2007, as I am.  In it, you learn that Anna Wintour is mental and that fashion smells of wee.

I watched this on the way to Paris. I was a bit drunk. It is quite diverting, in a French sort of a way. I can see why J. Depp wants to "do it" with V. Paradis. I can't really remember what happens in it.

Continental, un film sans fusil
Another bleak Quebec film. There is line dancing in it, and something to do with a hotel reception.

Ring ring
Ring ring.
Hello it is me.
What are you doing?
I am watching a documentary film about Rush.
Are you feeling all right?
Now you mention it, I am feeling a little Geddy.*

Leap Year
No. Just no.

A cheerful Quebec film. I liked it very much. It is about vaudeville people putting on a show in a barn and has a good joke in it about a man dying 'in flagrante'.

The Fantastic Mr Fox
There is a reason why I have watched this film four times, and it is only partially to do with the yoga fox.

Blah blah, design, wank wank, design, bollocksy wank wank.   Very interesting in parts but exactly one hour too long.  This documentary is clearly a favourite with this sort of person:

Me? I like Caslon Antique, but on Tuesdays I usually feel Gill Sans.

OK that is it for the moment. I have to go and made another cake out of chocolate and beetroot (trust me, it is quite delicious), but I will watch the films that were recommended in the comments on my last set of film reviews and I will review them even if it kills me.

Pip "Snowplough" Pip


* Quite the best joke I have ever made, I am sure you will agree. 


Ragged Thread Cartographer said...

I really don't care that I will never see these films. Reading this is all I need. xx

katie said...

I have a question: I like bleakness, road trips and dead children, but not redemption or self-discovery. Should I see Route 132 anyway, or shoudl I just move straight onto Continental, because what could possibly be bad about the combination of bleak Quebeckery and line-dancing?

Mr Farty said...

I never knew you were a fan of Basil Brush. Boom Boom!


I shall reserve judgment on the chocolate and beetroot cake until I've tried it. Chocolate and chilli cake is excellent despite Jamie Oliver giving it the thumbs-up.


Ragged Thread - It is "we watch these films so you don't have to". Coming next: "I eat these Hula-Hoops so you don't have to". I give and I give.

Katie - Try Route thingy. I wasn't in the MOOD as it were but if you brace yourself you will be fine. There are no (0) laughs in it, not one, not one.

Farty - what? What? Basil Brush? Where? Yoga fox? Cake - I would offer to send you a slice, but despite its astonishing "moistness" (barf), I do not think it would make it across the Atalantica Sea

minty said...

I have eaten beetroot and chocolate cake, it might be the best cake I have ever tasted (apart from some I tried at a quebecois wedding)

katie said...

No laughs at all? Excellent. I am the only person in the world who enjoyed Le Temps du loup.

I have not eaten beetroot and chocolate cake but I have a feeling I will soon. Perhaps while watching bleak quebecois films.

JPM said...

Excellent. Also loved Kitchen Stories. Genius. Recommend Catfish from last year.

Anonymous said...

'feeling Geddy'. I almost puked with laughter (inside. i was laughing inside.)


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