Forcing a "Bob" from North Carolina to drink half a pint of bitter ("Drink it Bob. Drink it". "Ah think ah'll stick with tha lagerbeer"):
Watching the fupbal, drinking over 1,232 glasses of wine and trying to knock this woman's hat off her head:
Eating the breakfast of champions:
And spending a lot of time in my favourite shop:
Other than that, there was rounders, sleeping like a log, singing like a pub singer, staying with "our marvellous hosts", wine, dinner, more dinner, more wine, shouting LADYBABY!!! on Shoreditch High Street, watching people do the mamba accompanied by a Korean man singing in a Tyrolean restaurant, eating all the food in Ottolenghi, sweating, a meeting or two and admitting that I was horribly, terminally homesick - if not for London, for the people I like who live in it, and who remind me what it is all about. (Whatever "it" is.)
Now I am back in Montreal where it is still hot, and where I spend time making phone calls, making appointments to have my "groin area" lasered, and sieving gigantic insects out of the pool so I may swim up and down without eating 3ft crickets.
And what is in Montreal? Yes. A memory of a caption competition. Were the submissions good? Yes they were. Was the winner judged entirely by how much it made laughter spurt unchecked out of my gaping mouth? Yes it was. Is there more than one winner? Correct. Is the best one the one at the top? Yes indeed ma'am, and let me take your arm, because I am recently divorced, your husband is a long, long way away and I am "Bob" from North Carolina.
Original pic:
"You're my wife now."
"Monkey Boy was happy, even though the Make A Wish Foundation clearly hadn't secured the real Ronald McDonald".
"Despite enthusiastic marketing, business was slow at Montreal's new 'Monkey Boy' funeral parlour.'"
Published author Jonny B, again
"What the fuck did you do with Tarzan, Clown Boy?"
7 comments:
OMG! OMG! Thank you thank you thank you.
It is possible to get hold of some sort of picture that might represent a delighted me being congratulated on my joint award by you, a non-workingmonkey?
Yeah, leave it with me - I've got scissors, I've got glue, I've got a box of glitter and I've got some pictures of your head stuck on pins inside a special cabinet. Watch this space.
Yay! A worthy winnner *applause*
Ali x
Don't forget the banjo in this portrait - v important I understand. Also chickens.
Yay!!!!!!!!
[does victory lap]
I too would like a picture, of you in a clown costume hugging me in a monkey suit*. The question is, who is whose wife?
*I had a boyfriend once who used to talk a lot about "losing the monkey suit". But he was talking about uploading his very being into a computer and then killing his body off, so... um... I'm not sure what my point is.
Some marmot-related entertainment just for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjoUTUnRwFE&feature=player_embedded
"Bob"? Is his real name truly embarrassing? Doris perhaps?
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