Thursday, April 15, 2010

I direct a film about a conversation I had with a client

Following on from my ground-breaking directorial debut yesterday, I bring you the second in my blockbuster series - this time recounting an exchange I once had with a client. I know you will like it a lot.



Coming soon: more films, possibly involving subtitles, and a photograph of my bed.

Pip pip!

NWM

12 comments:

Icy Mt. said...

If you are 100% wrong then wouldn't you be literally unemployable? Being literally non-working should follow on straightaway. I've twigged to your plan, diabolical monkey!

NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

It is an absolute disaster. I really should give up entirely. Working, that is. Except ... I need money. Any ideas?

WrathofDawn said...

100% wrong? If a job's worth doing badly, it's worth doing badly well, I always say. Well done, you!

I have never been able to acquire money other than by working. It is an undesireable plan, but there you have it. So, as usual, I am no help at all.

Lord Philth said...

What a twat. i would have kicked him in the 'nads.

Megan said...

But... doesn't that make you absolutely and utterly perfect? I mean, how often does one achieve that?

On a film-critic level I like the subtle body language (ears drooping slightly when he announces that he's totally twigged your evil intent to... well do whatever English account managers do) but I missed the bit where the Disintegration Rays come out of your eyes and dissolve his trousers and expose his tiny, tiny penis. Or were you going all metaphysical and that was done through subtext? As in Yes! [I am absolutely serious that I have a tiny, tiny penis -] 100%.

Icy Mt. said...

Well, you could sell non-workingmonkey memorabilia like badges and stuff. Could you suck up to some professional in the medical field and make him feel all loved, appreciated and well fed in return for room and board? Sorted.

Lord Philth said...

You could be a biscuit taster. I have a lawn that's full of dog dirt. You could be a dog dirt shoveler and thrower...er into next doors garden..er. Doesn't pay all that much, but at least it gets you outside into the "fresh" air. Plus all the partially digested sweet corn and tomato skins you can eat.

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

Oh no! I was all excited at the prospect of films directed by you, but all I see is two blank spaces. I cliked at several points in the middle of those spaces, in the hope that something would magically happen, but nothing did.

Maybe you could just paste a url in here and that might work for me? I suspect the technological failure may be at my end rather than yours, but I don't really have a clue.

PS I am intrigued by your mentions of a new website and would be happy to gain a sneaky peek and give uninformed feedback.

NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

Squirrel, I think it's fine for everyone else -have you tried a different browser maybe?

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

Will try. Have just installed latest Firefox update, so maybe that's it. Random rant: I do wish people wouldn't assume Firefox is automatically amazing just cos it isn't Microsoft. I've had various problems with Firefox over the years.

NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

Yes, that is quite a random rant. Is here the best place for it?! Safari, Firefox, whatever else - some things work better on one, some on the other. But the embeds on my blog - that I can't help you with.

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

Is this the best place for a random rant? Is any place the best place for a random rant? Probably not. But anyway, that worked and I have now seen your fillums. Hooray! I like.

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