Regular readers gasped upon reading my last excellent post. Could it really be possible that one person - and one person alone - could suggest so many fascinating future 'topics' for discussion? The answer is yes, and I am that person. Not only are my ideas tooth-achingly good, but I am also able to 'bring them to life', or 'execute them' (as the advertising johnnies say) in a way that gets people really talking. It is quite brilliant.
OK. Here goes. To start off, I give you Topic Number 4:
"My Favourite Biscuit (And Why)"
British people know what I mean when I say 'biscuit'. Americans think they know what I mean, and Canadians don't really mind one way or another, so I had better explain before I start. (I do not want confusion, but confusion is possible, what with the fact that the metaphorical door to my web-log is not unlike the fire escape of the main United Nations building after a false fire alarm.)
In America (which is quite a strange place), when you say "give me a biscuit, cretin, and stop cocking on about your superpower status", they try and give you what we in the Old World would (loosely) describe as a 'scone'. (It's not exactly the same, but you get the gist.)
In Britain, when you say 'biscuit', you mean what the Americans might refer to as a 'cookie' or a 'cracker'. Interestingly, however, the British 'biscuit' could be any number of things (including a wafer, but not a KitKat).
Broadly, my own definition of 'biscuit' is thus: if you might find it in a selection tin (savoury or sweet), it is a biscuit. (See fig. 1, in which the area highlighted in duck-egg blue denotes the type of biscuit one might find in a mixed selection):
Fig 1
I should point out that the examples given, or indeed various sub-species of biscuit described, are by no means exhaustive and serve to illustrate the point rather than provide a dictionary-worthy description of the term 'biscuit'.
Wikipedia attempts a definition here; there is another, very amusing and clever definition here, written by someone who, I suspect, works in the advertising but really, at the end of it all: if you can see it in a tin, it's definitely a biscuit.
To further clarify, I present you with some mixed biscuit selections:
These 'selections' come in posh, too, but their contents - despite being organic and/or personally stamped by the signet ring of Prince Charles, are, nevertheless, still biscuits.
Now that is clear, I feel able to reveal my favourite biscuit. It is the 'Ginger Nut', my favourite biscuit for the following reasons:
1. It is not fancy.
2. It is with ginger, which is a strong flavour that I like.
3. It is very crunchy and not too sweet.
4. It is possible to eat many of them without feeling sick.
5. If you put them with sherry you have the beginnings of a strange 1970s pudding.
In fact, I have a fondness for ginger biscuits, all of them. I am willing to try other ginger biscuits if people would like to send them in; if they are sufficiently good, I will 'endorse' them on my web-blog, even going so far as to produce and film a 'testimonial' that I shall distribute on YouTube and the more minor satellite channels. I also like ginger cake and ponies.
I hope that has cleared that one up.
(If you are interested in biscuits, may I suggest you go and see Smitten Kitten, who offers up a recipe that looks very good. Katy sent me there, and she was right to.)
Coming Next: What Would I Rather Do: Never Poo Again, Or Never Eat Toast?
36 comments:
mmm. Didn't think I was interested in this topic but gee, now I am really craving what I think is similar to your ginger nut, a cookie known as a ginger snap. Are they maybe almost the same?
..in a different direction, it is troubling when food gets described as "selections" or even worse "selects"---bhauh, it triggers my vomit reflex.
Just wanted to share:).
Mmmm... I love hobnobs (but I call them cookies, being American, I guess.) Question: what do you think of/call our biscuits?
JPM, you raise an interesting separate topic!! Well done. Yes, the thing that in your land you call the 'ginger snap' is to us the 'ginger nut'. In the olden days, when children were correctly disciplined and the milkman had a float, there was a thing called a 'ginger snap' (UK style) that was a sort of thin, crispy-chewy biscuit that was wrapped around a wooden spoon handle and then filled with whipped cream. Awfully nice. Am looking for a photograph of it still to show you what I mean but suffice to say that ginger biscuits are the very Prince of the biscuit world.
Special K - I do not like them!!! They are too sugary and are a bit dishonest, like they are pretending to be healthy with the oats and stuff when in fact they are made of treacle or somesuch.
Your biscuits frighten me (not yours personally; those of your land). I see them on tables on the television during Thanksgiving scenes or during KFC bucket commercials and think, heavens, what are the Americans doing with scones? That is what I think they are closest to although I will need to look at the recipe to be sure. (Asta will know. Asta or Megan or Katy. They always know. Tired Dad will not know. He is an idiot. Wait for him to reply to this comment and you will see what I mean. There is also a character called Johnnyboy who is a bit of a know-it-all. On a lighter note, my mother may be able to provide a photograph of the ginger snap with cream as described above, assuming she has her Dairy Book of Home Cookery and a scanner to hand.)
That is all. Thank you.
Thin and wrapped round a handle? I call that a Brandy Snap - it does however have ginger in the recipe I will concede you that. A Ginger Snap is what you appear to be calling a Ginger Nut, but that may just be some weird Southern English expression. Clearly it is a snap because when you break it to dunk it in your tea it makes a snapping noise, not a nutting noise.
I too like a Ginger Nut, but do, sometimes, prefer a Jaffa Cake, or even a Wagon Wheel. Given that these delicious treats appear in the 'Freakshow' category of your biscuit org-chart (Fig. 1), I am feeling more than a little perturbed. I've always known I was different, but your chart spells it out for me in stark black and white (and a fetching duck-egg blue).
Don't look at me!
Tunnocks monkey! Yes, prince among biscuits ("Over 4,0000,000 made and sold every week") and still only 12p if you buy a multipack. I am hoping to raise a small statue by subscription in Uddingston centre, of Thos Tunnock holding a caramel wafer towards the light.I've had to give them up because of my health, but it's importnat to know where your loyalties lie
I wholeheartedly agree with Ginger Nuts reigning supreme over the biscuit world. If you're ever making Tiramisu which I recommend you make on an almost daily basis, then grate a few of them into the biscuity base at the bottom of it. I suggested this to my Italian grandmother and have since revolutionised Tiramisu production in a small village outside of Milan. Tastes yum.
YOU ARE RIGHT IT IS A BRANDY SNAP. I woke in a sweat and leapt from my ratty bed. It is no wonder I could not find a picture of it. I am so relieved. Otherwise, anon, are you from the England? If so I am interested in the 'ginger nut' you claim is southern English description of the 'ginger nut'. Perhaps Northern English people took the 'ginger snap' to the Americas, which is why they call it that. Or perhaps "ginger nut' is merely a brand name. I cannot tell.
This debate has got me so worked up for Biscuits i'm off to the shop to buy some. Must confess I will get custard creams though.
To Jimmy Page's Trousers: I believe the Jaffa cake is officially designated an actual cake, (despite bearing strong resemblance to a biscuit in form and size, yet not in a dunkability). This is to avoid VAT or some such nonsense.
I may, of course, be talking out of my hat or somewhere less savoury.
I thought a Ginger Nut was a mentally deficient red headed person (sorry couldn't help adding to this otherwise very serious subject)
"...the British 'biscuit' could be any number of things (including a wafer, but not a KitKat)."
Nestle (sorry don't know how to do accents) might disagree:
"2 Finger KitKat is the UK's number one biscuit."
www.nestle.co.uk/OurBrands/AboutOurBrands/ConfectioneryAndCakes/KitKat.htm
They also call it a crisp.
*ponders cheese'n'onion and salt'n'vinegar KitKats*
*throws up*
Excellent post, btw.
Yes. The Ginger Biscuit. Good choice. I was recently in possession of some 'not for re-sale' ginger and chili biscuits which are apparantly produced for Fortnum (sp?) & Masons by a company in East Lancs, I can wholeheartedly recommend them. Although not at Fortnum (sp?) & Mason prices.
I wonder if this is the place to ask, but, many years ago I was referred to as 'X[insert name]'s Biscuit'. I didn't know what it meant at the time, and still don't.
Do you? Is it better if I never know?
'apparantly' (sp!!)
Ah, the proud ginger nut, or, as we rather prosaically call them at Chateau Newton, the ginger biscuit (which always, always means ginger nut).
All I can really add is that they should always be used for the base of a non-baked cheesecake even if the recipe stipulates digestives.
In view of our long-standing and precious friendship I am going to draw a tasteful veil over the whole brandy snap/ginger snap thing.
I KNEW you were intelligent! Ginger cookies are indeed top of the cookie continuum - although only just...
And also I know you're intelligent because you knew I'd know the difference between a biscuit and a scone! And I do! And I pronounce scone properly! So:
Biscuit (American) - a non-yeasted savoury bread item made (usually) with buttermilk, baking powder and quite a lot of fat. Biscuits should be round, lightly brown on top and flaky in texture. Recipe sample here. They should NOT include sugar.
Scone (American) - to be avoided at all costs. Usually dense and cardboardy, far too sweet, and often dotted with strange bits of things that remind me of the smuts Anna Maria put in to hide the smuts in the roly-poly pudding.
Scone (British) - Much closer to the American biscuit than to the American scone. Does not use buttermilk, includes small amount of sugar and often vanilla flavouring (and I quite like ones with a little lemon) and is (because the Brits do some things correctly) very intelligently served with jam and clotted cream.
To round things off, here is an American molasses cookie you might like as it is gingery and spicey and other good things.
As I recall, one of the characteristics of a McVities Ginger Nut was how hard it was to bite into.
These were my Father's favourites, so if he was around there was little chance of getting my hands on one - this may have contributed to the lack of my proficiency in eating them.
Compared to the Ginger Snaps that my Grandmother used to make us when she visited from the US (she emigrated from the UK before I was born) - which were softer and didnt snap at all, more like some ginger bread than biscuits.
To be fair, they didnt last long on the cooling rack after their exit from the oven and this may account for their lack of "snap" despite the expectation in the name.
yeah, really crunchy. Dipped in vanilla rice milk or black coffee. mmm.
Oh for cocks sake. The CURRANTS Anna Maria put in. I need coffee and a nice ginger biscuit. Now.
I swear - I swear I'll shut up now, but here's a recipe for American ginger snaps. I can't comment as I've never tried it and frankly I don't care about the Denver Broncos (or American football in general) and I unreasonably distrust anyone who uses an "i" instead of a "y" at the end of their name, but there you go.
I think I would enjoy eating a ginger nut, unless it comes from Carrot Top.*
* an american comic specializing in two-bit skits.
Dearest NWM it's been ages but I am back!! (Extra !!! just for you.)
Ginger nuts are the bollocks - I agree, and, having recently been subjected to what is apparently called "Biscuits and Sausage Gravy" I can assure you that they are NOT biscuits and most definitely not even scones.
By the way, how are we pronouncing "scones" these days? I've always said it in a way that would rhyme with "bones" - am I wrong? I await your sage wisdom on this one.
xxx
Jimmy Page: I am not saying anything about your choice of biscuit, but would imagine that you also enjoy the ‘Wotsit’.
Lewis – I do not disagree with you – they are indeed a splendid biscuit (of the ‘wafer’ sub-species), but unlike the Ginger Nut it is not possible to eat more than five of them in one sitting.
Anon 2 – This is a filthy idea, and that of a pervert. It is also genius and I am enchanted by your story and the idea of your Italian grandmother and her Anglicised Tiramisu. I salute you.
Boblordy – I am very fond of the custard cream myself. It is possible to eat many of them, whereas it is not – in my experience, anyway – possible to eat many Bourbon creams. I would not want to eat more than one Jammy Dodger, even if I were inebriated.
Mephitis – “The British usage of the word biscuit was defined in the defence of a tax judgement found in favour of McVitie's and their product Jaffa Cakes which Her Majesty's Customs and Excise claimed was a biscuit and was therefore liable to value added tax. The successful defence rested on the fact that 'biscuits go soft when stale, whereas cakes go hard when stale.’” Thank you for listening.
Monkeyfather – Very good, dear.
Helen G – Nestle are idiots and are wrong. It is probably some sort of tax dodge or somesuch but if you ask the ‘man on the street’ (who is, most of the time, a fucking idiot), he will probably tell you that the KitKat is a ‘chocolate treat’ or similar, at which point you should punch him. Fuck me though with the Salt ‘n’ vinegar KitKats – you have some mind there, lady.
Beth – I think it is better if none of us ever know. I shall think instead of the ginger and chili biscuits. Are they www.fortnumandmason.com/Catalogue/productinfo.aspxid=387&cid=117&AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1? (Sorry, link code's not working for some reason)
(And I admire someone who corrects their own spelling. It shows good attention to detail, indicating the kind of person whose judgement I would trust in matters biscuitty.)
Katy – Yes I agree, it is ‘ginger biscuit’, isn’t it? Forget the brandy/ginger thing. It is appalling and shameful. I shall make some for you when you come though.
Megan – you are a legend. Everyone get that? Good. I am going to touch your snaps with my monkey hands. I knew someone called Nikkii once and she was a right twat; almost as much of a twat as pikeys who suddenly have double-barreled names. You can always spot them though as they sound like an anal fungal sydrome.
Philip – hello darling, how nice to see you again. I would have liked your grandmother’s biscuits, I think. Talking of ginger cake, is there any finer than the one in the green packet?
JPM – what is ‘vanilla rice milk’? Sounds like something that would come out of a small child’s mouth and run down your back! You are scaring me.
Johnnyboy – that Carrot Top is your favourite comedian, and pretending otherwise will not wash.
Penelope – excellent way of thinking of the American biscuit, and I thank you for it. In other news, I pronounce ‘scone’ to rhyme with ‘gone’, not ‘stone’. You may like this:
How To Get On In Society
Phone for the fish knives, Norman
As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
And I must have things daintily served.
Are the requisites all in the toilet?
The frills round the cutlets can wait
Till the girl has replenished the cruets
And switched on the logs in the grate.
It's ever so close in the lounge dear,
But the vestibule's comfy for tea
And Howard is riding on horseback
So do come and take some with me
Now here is a fork for your pastries
And do use the couch for your feet;
I know that I wanted to ask you-
Is trifle sufficient for sweet?
Milk and then just as it comes dear?
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones;
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones.
John Betjeman
Donah' be scared: Vanilla Rice Milk and other wonderful rice drinks:
http://www.tastethedream.com/products/category/202.php
maybe at health food stores in Canada? Impossible to find in Zurich.
OK Monkey, let's get serious, and crack down to what we really mean: Ginger Gypsy Cream.
Now that I have given you the gift of memory revivification (a GGC being to a monkey what a madeleine was to Proust) would you like to have the chance (this once) to re-write your post, as I am SURE that you have forgotten the existence of this primus inter pares of the ginger world wherein the sharpness of the ginger snap ("with real stem ginger bits!") is offset by the unctuous creaminess of the synthetic buttercream sandwich filling?
"We" mean exactly what we have already said.
http://www.fortnumandmason.com/Product/Lucifers-Ginger-Biscuits,387,298.aspx
£7.95!
(or £1.50 in a bashed tin from the factory shop in Nelson)
RE: The other matter. You are probably right.
My brain hurts. I think I'll go eat a cookie. lol.
A bit of extra-nerdy information for you all.
Biscuit is an anglo saxon appropriation of the word biscuit -- surprisingly -- which means, yes in french, cooked twice. Originally from the latin « panis biscotus » it evolved into « besquis » in the middle ages to become what it is today.
The point of cooking it twice was to ensure that it would last for a longer period of time as it removed most of the water out. This also made it crunchier if not hard.
This lasting quality was the reason why it was one of the first confectionaries to be mass produced as once in a tin, it could travel far and be consummed years later.
The secondary benefit of the double cooking, and the one which brings buiscuits so close to my heart, is obviously the dunking possibilities.
My grand mother always said it was not polite to dunk; apparently because the biscuit often breaks and falls at the bottom of the cup or mug leaving a messy mush behind which you try to save expediently with the spoon. She was french so she should know.
I still do it anyway, in private or the company of vary close people, and judge teh quality of a biscuit partially on its resistence to liquid penetration.
My very favourite one at the moment is in the posh section I am afraid and should please NWM's taste as it is a chocolate coated ginger nut.
http://www.duchyoriginals.com/public/products/displayproduct.aspx?productid=8&id=10.
Absolute heaven although it doesn't fill reason 4 as really you would feel a little ill if you ate the whole box in one go.
Thank you Frog for this interesting lesson. I had considered 'filling in' the readers on the points of the origin of the biscuit, but feared their brains would explode. Luckily, your addition is timely and I am sure they will be able to cope.
In other news, those biscuits of which you speak are the fucking business, as neither of my grandmothers would ever have said.
I'd like to hear your take on "Spotted Dick".
I do love ginger nuts too (the biscuits, not the people)! They are one of my favourite biscuits.
Please can you give me the recipe of the strange 1970s pudding? I did not exist in the 1970s, and am very interested in anything involving ginger nuts (the biscuits).
Thank you!
I would just like to add that I have no problem with ginger nuts (the people, not the biscuits). I just needed to clarify that I was referring to the biscuits, not the people, as people can not be favourite biscuits. As far as I know. Thank you.
No, no NO! The Jacob's tin does not contain biscuits, it contains crackers! It may SAY Biscuits for Cheese, but it lies! Okay, there might be the odd digestive type thing in there and I'll give them biscuit for that. The Hovis things are borderline at best, but the rest of them are crackers.
Biscuits!
I love cookies. So everything for me is delicious.
Count
www.imarksweb.org
Post a Comment