My Christmas Present List, 2007
1. Sting's head on a stick
2. A puppy (alive)
3. Sheet music of Alan Parson's "Eye In The Sky" (adapted for Glockenspiel)
4. Ditto "Eye Of The Tiger", "The Man With The Child In His Eyes" and "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"
5. The name of a good Canadian film*
6. A Glockenspiel and matching outfit (see Fig. 1)
Fig. 1
7. A 1950s ViewMaster with the reel that's got the Brussels thing (not the pissing boy, the giant desk game) and the CN Tower
8. A FAIL-SAFE bread recipe for idiots with cold pastry-making hands, i.e. me
9. A Subaru Impreza WRX (i.e. this one, but not that colour). Apparently it breathes fire from its 2.5-liter turbocharged, 224-horsepower SUBARU BOXER engine , and is the ultimate street legal rally car; in fact, with added features like Vehicle Dynamics Control (VDC) and double wishbone rear suspension, the 2008 Impreza WRX 5-Door is ready for action. (I say!)
10. A new fez. My current one is crusted with something unmentionable and I dare not try to flake it off.
Pip pip!
* Not French-Canadian, Anglo-Canadian
15 comments:
That's a mighty interesting wish list. Could be a bit complicated to get all of that before Christmas. Especially the Subaru, a little expensive, you know? I will do my best.
Regarding no. 8, look in the bible! No, not that one. That'll be unleavened and involve fish.
Look in The Dairy Book of Home Cookery c.1970.
Otherwise, too late, I've already bought your Xmas pants.
What about the muffin recipe? I had to get a big camp australian in a head lock to get it for you....
May I be the tuba player? PLEASE? I don't quite have the cheeks, but I'll work on that and I'm sure I can find a muppet somewhere to throw up on my head.
Bread:
1/2 plus 1 cups warm water
1 packet yeast (or... what is it... something like 2tbsp? Anyway, too much is better than too little)
1 or 2 tbsp sugar
a bit of salt - depends on taste, but do use a bit
1/2 cup honey
mass of flour (if you're going all healthy cut the whole wheat with some white or else double the yeast or you'll end up with hockey pucks. Trust me.)
Dissolve sugar in 1/2 cup warm water (not hot or you'll kill the yeast) then sprinkle yeast over. Wait until it gets all bubbly and sort of swamp-monstery.
Dissolve honey in remaining water and add to yeast mixture. Stir in two cups of flour, mix well. Keep adding flour until you have a kneadable dough - should still be squishable and moist but not so sticky you can't get your hands out of it.
Turn out onto floured surface and knead. A lot. A whole lot. It'll change eventually and get all soft and elastic and lovely at which point you put in an oiled bowl (and oil the top lightly), cover and let rise (if the house is cold, heat up a wet towel and wrap around the bowl). When doubled, do the shaping thing, let rise again for a while, throw into a 350 degree oven (SORRY! I'm 'Mercan, I don't know the gas setting or the Kelvin for it - google it) and bake until it's done. My mother swears by thumping it on the bottom to see if it sounds hollow.
This ends today's commentary novel. You're welcome.
Megan
Oh - add the salt with the flour. I often forget that step, can you tell?
32 short films about Glen Gould.
The Sweet Hereafter. ( so I've heard, I didn't go. I was already depressed.)
New Waterford Girl
A Sunday in Kigali
Water
and
Dead Ringers
I really liked Bon Cop Bad Cop, but then I liked Hot Fuzz too.
Yup, I'd back Sweet Hereafter. It's brilliant. But, no, not the jolliest.
The highest grossing Canadian film of all time internationally: Porky's.
Sorry johnnyboy, not any more.
Asta vs. Johnnyboy! Fight to the death entre deux Quebecois! Allez les .... Yes. (Are you one of them, Asta dear? A FRENCH Canadian? I do not think you are.)
Megan. Legend. Thank you.
Irene - the head of Sting on a stick will suffice, do not worry.
Shelton - you is an intellectual.
RM - you fucking loved it.
MM - swear to god you will have to do it with me. I made 2 lots that were like brick then one that was like a cake and would not toast. Megan if the recipe of yours doesn't work I am coming to find you.
Great Canadian film? Um... um...
I'll get back to you with your gift. Google is my friend, but apparently not speaking to me right now since my searches are giving me shit!
Me? French? Now, that's funny.
Ha! I never did send that picture of my local crossing man so your evil plot to track your readers by traffic signal is foiled.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reminding me of the existence of Every rose has its thorn.
9. 'Ooh, fancy a girl knowing all that stuff about a car!' I thought. Then I read the link, ah.
So, what colour would you like? And, you never said how many? Will the platform boots fit in it?
I'm fed up with Christmas, too many questions.
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