I am going to Toronto tomorrow to talk to some people about some jobs. The jobs are things that apparently I can do in Montreal (which is the nearest big place to where I live*) and that is just as well as although Toronto is in Canada (like Montreal is), Montreal to Toronto is the distance equivalent of (for e.g.) Yorkshire to Tiananmen Square. (Canada is very big, in case you had not noticed.)But I digress! I have some matters for your urgent attention, matters that I trust you will be able to solve and/or answer whilst I am skipping about in Toronto tomorrow. (Talking of which, I've got four hours to kill there tomorrow afternoon; any suggestions?)
The first is some help with dream interpretation. I cannot say where this dream came from, who had it and about whom it was had, but none of those facts are relevant. I am very aware that the dreams of others are fuck-boring, unless they involve oneself, a gimp mask and a squirrel monkey called Jeffrey; this one, however, caught my attention (and I am not even a Freudian psychotherapist!!):
"I had a dream about you last night that was very long and detailed. You had 2 loos: a bucket for weeing in (because it was more ecologically sound) and a loo for doing poos in. I dropped a bottle of Dove shampoo and conditioner (like the one I bought yesterday to go to the gym) and one of those plastic mesh body scrubber things in your weebucket and fished them out and rinsed them.
Then you let me use your poo loo for a wee. The rest of the house I can describe in complete detail too - suffice to say you were renting it and not unhappily but weren't that keen on the dark green sitting room carpet."
What is this about? There is no sexystuff between either person involved, and this I must make clear! Please do not send in stupid answers, e.g. "you like wee", but I will certainly consider answers from for e.g. psychotherapists and/or Russell Grant.
If dream interpretation holds no interest for you, you may find this film interesting. In it you may see the name of the village in which I live (I will give a prize if you can guess which one it is) - but that is entirely secondary to the main event, which is a woman called Muguette singing "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" in French. It is called Ces bottes sont faites pour marcher, and I believe Muguette is French-Canadian rather than French.
I am also looking for some toy help. I cannot remember the name of two toys I would like to own again, and I have a broken toy that needs mending.
First of all, the toys I cannot remember. I will describe them and then you can tell me what they are, as I know that one (or many) of you will remember:
Toy One: Vision Camera Thing With Circular Film Inserts
This is a very good thing. My grandmother had it; I think it had originally been my father's. There was the camera thing itself and then all the picture things that were set along the margins of a circle. You slotted the circle thing (each one containing a number of different images) into the camera thing, then held it up to your eyes and pressed a button and it moved the pictures along.
When you looked into the picture in the circle it was amazing, like you were actually there ('there' being for e.g. in Brussels, or looking at the tower thing in Toronto). I often think of this magical toy, and wish to own one again (perhaps using the power of the internets).
Toy Two: Magical Plastic Garden
This was also a really good thing. There were brown plastic 'ground' bits that you put the flowers, plants etc into. It was really really good. I think I played with it when I was c. 8 and I am 38 now. Like the circle film vision thing, I would like to own it again, very much.
Broken Monkey
I have a very special monkey. He is broken and needs mending, re-stuffing and general care. The Royal College of Needlework claimed that they did stuffed toy repairs, but did not reply to my electronic mails. (Perhaps they thought it was impossible that such a monkey could exist and did not reply as they thought I was joking.) Does anyone know of a really good toy repairer?
Finally, the childrens' programme I think I imagined. (NB: I was a child in England, and was born in 1969.) It has been haunting me for many years, but all I can remember is that there was something really really really bad involving electricity pylons, aliens, and everyone evacuating England and going to live in France.
(There is a chance of course that it was not a television programme and is actually a fact - a fact that explains why perfectly nice parts of France are drenched in ghastly English people who must be controlled by aliens, which is why they cannot speak French.)
Thanking you in advance for your kind attentions I remain in this, as in all weathers,
NWM
* I say I live in Montreal because I live in a place there is NO WAY you would have heard of, unless you are intimately acquainted with the 640 and often visit Oka.
24 comments:
Toy #1 is called a ViewMaster. You should be able to find one in any reasonably sized toy department.
Sadly, the rest are mysteries to me. Does anyone else know what they are? Class? Anyone? Beuhler?
Have fun in Toronto. I cannot make any suggestions for time filling as, if Toronto is as far from Montreal as Yorkshire is from Tiananmen Square, where I live is as far from Toronto as Yorkshire is from Aukland. Hence my lack of familiarity.
The (first) toy thing.. is that a View Master? They still make them and I bought one recently for my son.. who tells me that he's willing to trade disks, just not the Lightning McQueen (Cars) ones. All the others are up for offers however, including Dora The Explorer and The Wiggles.
The Broken Monkey, should be immediately attended to by a qualified, licensed and bonded Monkey Specialist. If it were a mechanical toy I would be The Right Person for the job, but alas, a toy with its innards all askew is not within my area of expertise.
The childrens' programme .. was that the BBC production called Tripods? Being a child of '66 vintage I think I may have been too busy watching Pan's People to notice the exodus if it were a real life evacuation, and to this day I would be blissfully unaware if there were actually aliens in charge.
ok. this dream says much more about the dreamer than it does about the "you" being addressed. when sbdy dreams of a house it is usually a representation of self - since this is a house they are visiting (and "you" are renting), likely it is an aspirational self (difficult for the other person to be honest but I wonder what "you" represent to them). There's quite a lot of body image/emotional processing going on. Dove = real beauty, scrub from the gym. It would be better to seperate water from solid - water waste can be interpreted as emotional waste, hence a desire to shed neg emotion about body issues? I could go on...but it's not really in the NWM spirit is it to take these things semi seriously.
eek, sorry about the double click - now I look like I'm incompetent with technology as well as one of those weird people who interprets dreams. In my defence, it is my mad mother who does the dreams, I've just heard this stuff so often that I've become able to do it myself. I wouldn't put too much store in it though - although people do, sadly.
I don't think that the garden toy can be bought any more. My wife had one as a child and we still have it somewhere in the house but I haven't ever seen a new version of it.
I think you live in St Paul d'Abbotsford, but I want to know WHY were all those places and numbers displayed like that? There was no explanation! Unless it was in the lyrics?
As for the camera toy, you may be very jealous to learn that I, being somebody who NEVER throws anythign away and brought all her childhood toys with her when she left home at the age of 18... I still have an original one of those cameras. And it is still amazing. My favourite pic is of a man climbing a cliff, and none of us can decide whether he is real or just an Action Man toy. There's a good one of a man in a cave, too. Anyway, I will go dig it out and find what it's called. And it works on modern children too! My son loves it.
The TV programme sounds familiar. Was it maybe Quatermass? Or the Tomorrow People? Or that Tripod thing? Or something else entirely? Sadly I, having also been born in 1969 like you, have only the vaguest of memories.
[goes to examine camera thing]
A Viewmaster! I knew it was a something-master. And I have three reels of slides: "Wild animals of the Americas and Antarctica", "Sport and Action Special Interest" and "Wild animals of Africa and the Arctic". And now I shall go away and look at them and be transported to the Antarctic, or maybe up a cliff. With an Action Man.
B-girl- jolly interesting as it happens. Have deleted the copies (so now your other comment looks insane). As to the rest of you - more later. Now I must go to the airport.
UCL - can your wife remember what it's called? Or the brand name?
Arr it be The Changes ye be thinkin of me hearty! avalook here http://www.bilderberg.org/changes.htm
btw I am non-working too at the moment but have 2 small kids to look after so my next job starting on Mon will be a holiday!!
I was going to suggest 'The Changes' because it was scary and electricity based. But I don't remember the France bit. There were Sikhs in it. And Merlin.
Damnit. Finally have a bit of useful knowledge and I KNEW other people would beat me to it and they did. So I have to make stuff up now instead.
1. Dream: loo=water which as everyone knows=voyages which clearly means you are going on three trips sometime soon. One will be utter shit (or will be to some country where hygiene is considered a bizarre pass-time of the tourist species), one will be in a small leaky dingy and the third I can't tell since not enough information. Dark green carpet=concern with nature in this case probably your irritation at not having a sighting-in-the-wild of the nude gardening neighbor. Shower products=your essential purity and beauty of spirit which cannot be sullied even by a dunking in a wee bucket (or a trip on a leaky dingy).
4 Children's show - dunno it, but if you want something with aliens and pylons in you should see Iron Giant which is a lovely film and contains one of my favorite lines: "Squirrel's in my pants, Hogarth."
The other questions have been answered well enough - but as to how to spend time in Toronto today? I'd be happy to help, either as in "come visit me at the little store where I work in Leslieville, I'll feed you Pocky and give you a present that's in the shape of a beaver" or as in "You're in this area? You might want to go here, and try this, and see that."
You can reach me via email, should you get this in time, and I'll give you more particulars:
peagood (at) gmail (dot) com (but all squished together, as email addresses usually are.
fucking hell I just wrote a massive long comment reply to everyone and then lost it. in summary:
Clare - How much for the arctic reel?
Beth, DIY - fuck me that's it - I am very excited. Thank you. (I remember the Sikhs too and it was bloody scary, but not because of the Sikhs)
Marla - can't get into email for some pissing reason and about to board but can you email a) where your store is and b) what to do if it's raining to nonworkingmonkey@mac.com? I am going to TRY and 'come visit' as you say in your land.
Dawn - thank you, very much
Tim - if I win my $15 bid for 500 old viewmaster reels on eBay your son may want to start talks. I am just saying.
(MM and MF - if you are reading this, d'ya know where the Viewmaster went? Did Weird Aunt get it?)
I am too excited to speak otherwise and must finish my disgusting piss-horrible Starbucks skinny piss-wee-water capuccino and get on the plan. Wooo.
Megan - move to Montreal please with Badgergirl so we can all be friends and interpret each others' dreams. genuinely interesting EVEN IF YOU DID MAKE IT UP.
I am swearing a lot today. That is because I am quite looking forward to doing some work with some interesting nice people. Yes.
I'm late to the party again.
You're already in Toronto. Still, the ROM is usually interesting. The St Lawrence Market is always fun.
I also tell people I'm from Montreal. It makes life much easier.
No can help on the ViewMaster, but I did once have 2, the basic brown version you held to the light, and the de luxe version which was illuminated by batteries and torchlight bulb (too much detail, Ed); yes quite novel in the late 50s. Don't think weired Aunt got it, but possible, shall I ask? Good luck on eBay.
I think the camera toy is called a viewmaster. You can still buy them in Vancouver; not sure about the wilds of Quebec.
NWM satchel is packed (spare woolly socks; fez nicked from local Shriners - bit tatty but when in the Canadia I suppose; large supply of lovely cookie ('Mercan for biscuit I believe?) recipes; small but tasteful crystal glass for tots of absinthe (which I hear if genuine brings on hallucinations and tendencies to imitate Oscar Wilde. Have high hopes). All I need now is gainful employment, which I recognize is contrary to philosophy but is also essential. Simply mention to your nice interviewy people that you know a highly intelligent, and very beautiful designer who can do haikus in CSS and knows some very interesting things about bezier curves.
u can go 2 the hockey hall of fame in toronto and the tower
V late to the party. Hope it was a good 'un.
Dunno Any answers to your questions, am now getting back under the duvet to suck my thumb.
this dream says much more about the dreamer than it does about the "you" being addressed.
Most definitely. And that is the sum total of my dream-interpretation wisdom.
And that was lifted from badgergirl.
Anything else I can help with here?
OH,poop. I never checked back here. Well, I'm sorry I missed you.
For the record, the store is called Winkel (www.shopwinkel.blogspot.com) and all the information is there on the rarely updated blog.
I still have a beaver for you (and I mean that in the nicest way).
And if it's raining? The ROM is often what I do with our three and a half year old on rainy days - though in pre-child days I preferred the Gardiner ceramic museum (where they have a complete antique Meissen Affenkapelle across the road (um...here http://www.robbreportcollection.com/Articles/Arts-Home-Decor/Aesthetic-Elements/Collection-Gift-Guide-Musical-Monkeys.asp. ) Then? Wearing snazzy rainboots and having a cute umbrella, enjoying a warm drink with a lovely sweet thing next to it (a dessert, I mean) in a neighbourhoody place with interesting shopping - you'd just have to let me know which neighbourhood you're in the region of.
Did you win your 500 Viewmaster reels. If so you prob don't want my Arctic one. I'm rather attached to it you see...
P.S. See LucyPepper's blog post here. Rather spooky coincidence!
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