Paralysed by confusion, I turned to one of the only sources of advice I could think of: my dear readers, each one blessed with looks, functioning brains and the ability to vote in an online poll. I asked them one question, and one question only (more would have confused them): "I want to be non-working, but must earn money. Which part-time job do YOU think I should do?"
I don't think there is any doubt about the answer!!!
As a result of this astonishing win by "Writer of books with pink covers" (whilst - I would hazard - eating biscuits), I am considering spending some months dictating a 'book' to someone else (in the style of Barbara Cartland), whilst I sprawl in an armchair, smoking a small clay pipe and sucking from a bottle of absinthe.
I shall consider basing my 'tale' on my recent employment including (for example) a character based on this man (a man with an interesting way with email), with a (monkey-based) hero whose "world view" may seem (to regular readers at least!) strangely familiar. I think it's a winner. What do YOU think?
* I have seen this used elsewhere (I shall not say where!), and would like to remind everyone that should the O.E.D. come knocking (without that ghastly Coren woman, I hope), I will be able to prove that it is I, Non-workingmonkey, who first "coined the phrase", as they say in Luton.
8 comments:
"Elsewhere" you say? Oops. While you undoubtedly coined this most marvellous of phrases, would you have an objection to the more humbler members of blogging society making good use of it?
If so, I am sure that their humble, grovelling and unimaginative brain cell could conjure up something else to use, though nothing would be nearly so good as the mighty 'non-working'.
Eek.
YOU are allowed, Jen, for you are LOYAL reader and no doubt pressed the "biscuit" button in the poll.
Phew. I would offer you a biscuit but, sadly, I can't think what sort would be best to offer as I used up my day's thought thinking that I might have to think of a non-working alternative.
Glad we cleared that up then. Phew (again).
I suspect that "non-working" is now a well-used euphemism for "unemployed" in Social Security Offices of the World.
So, I'm the only person who voted for Creative Director Fezzes?
That sucks, because I heard there is an opening at the Fez factory.
two people thought that you should be a temporary secretary - were they on drugs, or is it a joke that I don't understand?
i am a writer of book with cover which, although not literally pink are so figuratively. they are pink at heart. the latest one is sort of yellow, but it has a great deal of swirly writing.
anyway, i can confirm that writing this kind of book involves eating a lot of biscuits. it would be perfect for you.
you could be a non-writing monkey
Dearest NWM, I think it is the characters of your pink-covered book who should engage in biscuit-related activity. Only you can decide which activity that is to be: baking, arranging lovingly on saucers, quality control in the biscuit factory, or perhaps biscuit-reviewing for the local paper?
I ticked biscuits, by the way, but I was secretly thinking "books with pink covers" as well.
I know you can do it.
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