NON-WORKINGMONKEY IN CANADA, DAY 9: I Wonder If It Is Easier To Name Famous Belgians Than It Is To Name Famous French Canadians

Nice lot, the Canadians (with a few obvious exceptions Who Shall Remain Nameless). They don't show off very much, even if they do play a version of hockey that involves padding and skating about on the ice a bit like ladies.

But I digress. The Canadians' lack of showy-offness means that there are many Canadians moving among us who you may not realise are Canadian! Examples include:

Alexander Graham Bell
Pamela Anderson
Neil Young
Mike Myers
Jim Carrey
Michael J Fox
William Shatner*
Dan Aykroyd
Shania Twain

Regular readers will be aware that through a set of circumstances too strange to relate here, I have an "intimate friendship" with a French Canadian pathologist. (I shall not enter into the whole Québécois/Quebecer thing, as there is quite enough of that over at Wikipedia, and it is a debate that can be explained only if you consider the five long months of the Canadian winter.) But it is the French Canadians who are most humble of all! Only yesterday, I sat on the terrace of a Resto-Bar with the pathologist, wrapped head-to-toe in a beaver skin coat.

Me: Name three famous French Canadians.

Pathologist: Céline Dion.

Me: And?

Pathologist: Pierre Trudeau?

Me: And?

Pathologist: You won't have heard of the rest. Language barrier.

This is utterly mysterious to me, and yet when I consider the Cult of Dion, I realise that there is no need for any other famous people in the entire of Quebec! In yesterday's papers alone there were seventeen mentions of her; the night before, she was on the State-owned television station having a dinner party; later that evening she was on a commercial television station, talking about her dinner party and why she liked women! (Not Like That.) In all the shops and bars she sings; on all the magazine covers she smiles; on all the posters in all the shops she appears, clasping her son who looks like a girl, or her husband who looks like a Smurf!

In fact, Céline Dion (if you do not know who she is, she looks like a long-faced horse and sings like she has an avocado stuck in her throat) is like Posh 'n' Becks but times one million. She seems nice enough, but if I am to move here (which I might), I need another famous French Canadian to admire. Anyone got any suggestions? (You may find this useful as a prompt, as it were.)


* A close friend of mine once mistakenly thought Shatner was moving into his tiny Cotswold village. To celebrate the arrival of his famous new neighbour, he created the "Plum Shatner", a confection involving custard and pastry. It was only later that he discovered his new neighbour to be Patrick Stewart.