It is bad enough having to go back to Work and the various inefficiencies and irritations contained therein; it is perhaps marginally worse to have to say goodbye to a self haircutting pathologist whilst being rammed in the back of the legs by tiny over-coiffed women with matching luggage; but to have to sit within eyesight of a particularly unattractive teenage 'goth' girl and her equally irritating friend, both of whom appear to be unable to eat with knives and forks or, indeed, with their mouths closed, is beyond the pale.
Anyone who thinks constant air travel is fun or glamorous is quite wrong (unless of course they only travel business or first class, or indeed have a private jet). It is boring, uncomfortable, and involves other people, not all of whom have washed that morning, and many of whom are unaware of the concept of "personal space".
I suggest you pay your guilt tax* anyway, buy some trees for good measure, stop flying or take the train. It's far more civilised, and as most trains don't sell baked potatoes and pizza, you won't have to watch a teenager tear either apart with her bare hands whilst spraying food in the face of her companion.
The other option is, of course, to move to the same continent as the person you're in love with. But that would be foolish, wouldn't it?
* i.e. carbon offsetting. Does anyone know if this actually works and is good? I do not think it is, from what I have heard.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
7 comments:
You're moving to Canada, aren't you?
You are going to be a Canadian.
You have to come back. We haven't had coffee and I didn't get to show you the Venetian gondola at the top of the mountain.
Katy. Who can tell. I will certainly be Giving It A Shot.
Asta. I am definitely coming back. Combination of only being in Montreal to work in an office and otherwise being In The Country Some Way From Montreal meant it didn't seem possible. But next time it will be. You can run, but you can't hide.
Oh, NWM, it was so fun when you were in Brixton - for me, I mean. Remember? You really weren't working, and you hated your cat, and your upstairs neighbour was a good old-fashioned London twat? And now you've said the 'L word', we'll have to give you your 'L'(for leaving) plates, and we'll never meet up at a blog meet, and and and (sob!).
But Montreal seems wonderful, and full of silly architecture, old-fashioned coffee and whimsical cakes. And pathologists. So it will provide plenty of blog posts I suppose.
At any rate, it certainly looks as if you're going to be spending an awful lot of time on planes.
Fear not, dear Ms B, for the pathologist has yet to discover that I am a good old-fashioned twat! And anyway I'll be back in London soon. Like in September. For a bit. We should have tea.
Oh dear, I seem to have missed you, for now I am in the Canada and you are not. But Vancouver is quite far from Montreal after all, so I doubt if I'd have seen you.
Canada is quite nice, innit? Especially Canadian pathologists.
NWM - Erm, not as such, I was just going by your description.
Simon may well be an idiot, but we have only been in Vancouver a few days and have already seen a real, live, wild, black bear. Our hosts say their dogs sometimes "tree" black bears too. I'll try to catch one for you. (This is a Joke.)
Post a Comment