Assuming I have not died from shock by lunchtime on my first day (biologically, I was not made to work; I was made to be a duchess*), I will continue to write my web-log and post photographs of the Miracles I See In The City Of My Temporary Residence.
I will start with a Miracle I saw the other day in a shop window in Old Amsterdam. He has friends (regular readers will have seen the dog), and shares a window with a crocodile, a goose and a rabbit.
* Why is that woman Fergie (Chanteuse from Black Eyed Peas, not Foolish Duchess of York) a cretin? She spells "Duchess" with a 't', and doesn't know the difference between London Bridge and Tower Bridge. However, she is very good at miming the administration of oral love on loose-limbed dancing guardsmen with ill-fitting bearskins, so I may let her off.
12 comments:
An aunt of mine told me she once married a Dutchman so that she could become a Dutchess. Hey, do you think she may have been pulling my leg?
Oh boy, Amsterdam! I bet you'll have lots of Exciting Adventures to regale us with over a glass of Absinthe! Good luck, NWM!
Good luck, indeed. I hope you will have a very Happy Five Weeks and be extremely well remunerated, and that Monster will be content in his new (temporary or permanent) home. Which just could be a cardboard box under the nearest bridge, I suppose.
You need a new identity for your internet web log, therefore. Otherwise you are a liar.
Plus I really only read you because I read The Guardian and am sympathetic to the unemployeds. I am concerned that you are off to work for the Forces of Capitalist Evil (ie the Dutch +their edam cartel)
It is to DIFFERENTIATE, unless she is really a form of potato(e)
I would like to join the rest of The Internet in wishing you every success in this new International venture. Please send photos of the biggest Mini BabyBel you can find.
Hey! Why was I 'Michael' then? that makes me sound proper hoity toity doesn't it? "ooh! hark at him! He thinks he's a bleeding Marquis with 'is fancy long name"
Mazel tov and all that, but must admit I will miss the zen of the non-workingness (though am prepared to be persuaded that one can still remain as such in the spirit).
Black cat hasn't made an appearance recently, so assume you've sorted Monster's psyshic disturbance. Thanks.
NWM, Wishing you well in the land of canals and hope you don't get run over by a bike. My brother used to live in Leiden and I once spent a month there looking afer his cat. I think Dutch men are v handsome. I was struck by how healthy/unhealthy they are: they cycle everywhere but smoke like devils.
Philip, what are you talking about? "Fergie cannot differentiate" - fair enough, more elegant.
May I take this opportunity to say that there is very little that irritates me more than people correcting my spelling and grammar. Reasons:
1. on the whole, both are about B++(A--), which is better than most people;.
2. I am not paid to do this;
3. I do not have or want a sub;
4. Blogger spellcheck doesn't work on my Mac and anyway, spellchecks never recognise half the words I use, e.g. "cunting";
5. WHY oh WHY would ANYONE EVER bother to correct someone's spelling on a blog that, presumably, they enjoy reading, and enjoy reading for free?
I am JUST SAYING. (And shouting slightly.) Philip, this is not directed at you, for I am sure you are not one of these people and anyway, I love you. (And if any smartarse writes a comment correcting my writing and that in this comment, I will ... oh, I don't know. Ignore it?)
Reading The Signs (is that your given name?) - I intend to retain my Zen although, to be fair, I haven't exactly approached being unemployed with a love of all of mankind. Monster seems VERY HAPPY. That is because he knows I am going away, and knows that a nice yoga teacher called Tom is going to come and look after him.
NMJ - (everyone go and read her blog, I've just looked at it again for the first time in ages, it's v.v. good but you probably all know that already). Interesting you should say this about Dutch men. I think they are tall and handsome, but not sexy. I have only ever seen one Dutch man I would consider touching with my tiny monkey hands, and I have been to the Netherlands a lot and seen Many Dutch Men.
Mikey - Enormous cheese is only the start of it. Don't fight it.
Dearest Z, I will enough to keep myself in hats, crisps, absinthe and cherry vanilla tobacco, so all should be well. And Monster has a Zen master coming to look after him, so the threatened cardboard box will not be necessary.
JonnyB. You read me because you want to touch my monkey face with your loving hands. Do not call me a liar though otherwise I will attack you. But thanks for that, because now I have a Post For Today, and otherwise it would have been about how I can't find my socks and have ants in my suitcase.
Farty darling: yes.
Cretin Fergie = Dutchess* / Foolish Fergie = Duchess**
So you (one) can tell the difference, though i do not think FF has an album out.
*She may like skipping with two ropes however.
** officially retains the style, but not the title, a-hem!
That glowing frog is indeed a miracle. It should be in my shrine of Tack, alongside the glow-in-the-dark St Francis and the light-up garden gnome. And the other stuff.
I hope Amsterdam is full of such miracles!
Re: Fergie (unutterably sloaney model) - Whereas she's evidently fearsome dense and has more money than dignity at least she is (was) the Duchess of an actual place (viz: York). That silly mare that's hooked up with Edward seems not to have noticed that Wessex only exists in Thomas Hardy novels. She might as well have been made the Duchess of bloody Trumpton for all the good it'll do her.
Which leads me on to saying that you should not overlook the existence of a proper Dutch Royal Family and whereas they all have bicycles etc.and are by no means as idle and feckless as our own lot they are reputedly Easy To Meet and might let you join their ranks if you are sufficiently charming and wear your special dress: Thus you could - with care - become a Non-Working Monkey in perpetuity. Think on.
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