Regular readers will be aware of the work of TwatBoy, my cretinous near-millionaire 27-year-old upstairs neighbour. He looks like Bod (except not as good looking) and cannot understand the simple "you make noise, I kill you" dynamic that is at the heart of our relationship.
I was woken by the door slamming at 2.30am, followed by pounding feet. I fell back into a fitful slumber. Then the Music started. I put my head under the duvet. I dozed off. Then A TEXT MESSAGE came that woke me up properly, with a start; a text message that went like this:
"Hey NWM! I'm drunk. If I'm making too much noise, let me know! xTwatBoyx"
Like I say. Cretin.
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4 comments:
Suggest you take photo of yourself wearing monkeyhat and with axe in hand, have it laminated (against projectile vomiting) and rivet it to his door, so it can't be removed.
You could add a line or two of text such as: " You make noise after 11p.m - you die".
Or possibly: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Monkey!"
Remember to grin madly.
Of course. Much better.
I'm doing all of it, with extra mustard. The cunts are playing war games on the playstation at top volume. Again.
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