Dr Forte sends in this Splendid Monkey, drawn with her own hands. I particularly like it as it is wearing a hat not unlike that of Carmen Miranda. She writes:
I shouldn't have drawn this monkey because I am supposed to be writing exam papers and finishing some illustrations, but this was more fun.
An excellent use of your time if you don't mind me saying, Dr Forte!
I then receive a begrudging note from Tim (careful, he's got music on his blog):
Dear NWM
I thought you might like this.
It's true to say that it's not actually a monkey, but that one picture you put of was of a monkey without a willy and wasn't even that funny, even though you said it was.
So I'm trying my luck with this Otter cum Monkey.
It's quite pretty and also furry in a way not dissimilar to a monkey, and has a rather hilarious 'I'm plotting the demise of humanity'-style expression on its queer little face.
I hope you like it, but I shan't hold my breath.
That's not a monkey! Still, it's in, just because things have taken a slightly surreal turn of late, and I feel like it. By the way, what's the difference between an otter and a beaver? Is it something to do with tails and dams? (I Genuinely Do Not Know, by the way!)
It only remains for me to say: Congratulations, Dr Forte and Tim!
8 comments:
what's the difference between an otter and a beaver?
scientific explanation of the difference: I'm hugely in love with otters and they're just adorable with really sharp bitey bitey teeth that would have your nose off if you let it and they eat fishes and play a lot and I want to kiss kiss kiss them... and a beaver is just a big rat that cuts down trees with his bare teeth and flaps his big flat tail around so he can swim under water to his damn quickly when he sees an otter coming to bite his arse.
yes.
i know everything, me.
otters can be in fresh or salt water and are the size of an average cat. Beavers are generally fresh water-rivers and lakes and such, and the size of a raccoon and have very broad tails and bigger/scarier teeth. Beavers can cut down saplings and limbs with their teeth. Otters break shellfish with rocks so they can eat the meat. They like to float on their backs and even sleep this way. Sea otter poo is especially odiferous.
When male sea otters mate with females, they bite the female's nose to make them stay still (a technique that has much to be recommended). During mating season you can spot the females from very far away by their bright red, bleeding noses. In the immortal words of some crappy band, Love Hurts.
Beavers are the only species of rodent that have circumvolutions on their cerebral cortex - ie they are quite intelligent, and are therefore possibly plotting to take over the world at this very minute. Or maybe composing poems, scratching them on little pieces of bark, which they would then eat, especially on nights when there is nothing on the telly.
The Ottermonkey's will have their day! WOOOOOOO!!!!!
The beavers won't. Sorry.
Lovely monkeyotter, or whatever it is.
NWM - I think you may be trying to remember the difference between a weasel and a stoat, where the weasel is weaselly recognised, but the stoat is stoatly different - n'est-ce pas?
I must admit I am utterly enchanted by all of these comments! In fact I am so enchanted I will have to lie down a bit.
My Comments Will Improve. I promise.
Stoatly, Maman. I had Forgotten. Genius.
Forgot to say how I LOVED (I know, geeky people, I'm shouting), Dr Forte's wonderful pic. Made me feel glad not to be dead in a ditch in France.
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