However, I have (in the last few seconds) received an email that made me squeak with glee loudly, twice, because of the Splendid Monkeys attached. And I must Share Them Immediately, Without Delay.
Sent by a Dear Friend by the name of Dan, the pictures are accompanied by a Mysterious Note:
"The popcorn one would have scared me stupid as a kid. Still does to be honest. Look at his demon eyes. He’s fucking mental."
But if you thought Popcorn Monkey was good, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Holy shit.
I am rigid with pleasure (and weeping slightly) when I say: Congratulations, Dan!
(No comments about whether or not they are ACTUALLY monkeys. I have decided they are and I am a monkey, therefore they are. Thank you for your attention.)
PS: Due to Over-Posting Awareness and as a Speshul Friday Afternoon Treete, Ask Monkeymother will now be appearing tomorrow, which means it is not too late to submit questions (via email, up there on the right).
28 comments:
Delighted to see over-use of capitalisation! Another Winnie the Pooh fan methinks.
I want some of what that banana monkey's having !
I have been meaning to say [but thought it wasn't my place] that you post too much ... way too much. At some point in the future when your mind goes blank you will think 'fuck' why did I post so much stuff in the past.
Whilst your readers want you to post every day... you may find it works better for you in the long run, if you post every other day.
But that's just my humble opinion.
*runs behind the sofa*
Andre is jealous...
Once a day (?) - not nearly enough
Twice a day is better
Ohara hello and welcome. Cup of tea? I am afraid I am not a Winne the Pooh fan (although I have a certain residual fondness for AA Milne's childrens' poetry - especially the one that goes "The King asked the Queen, and the Queen asked the Dairymaid: Could we have some butter for the royal slice of bread?").
Johnnyboy - you can probably find it on the interweb, but by the looks of things should be consuming it in Controlled Scientific Circumstances.
Andre - my problem is that I don't write a diary, and I don't write stories and that because I'm rubbish at it. I just write about any old stuff that catches my rheumy crusted eyes. As most things do (because I haven't got anything else to do), I end up writing too much. I suspect that Time and Natural Wastage (and getting a job) will mean it will Slow Down. Now, if it were all dead boring and that I would deffo cut it down. (If you think that you MUST say so but say so via email in privit - am keen on Constructive Criticism as am not 12 and would like things to be Better, not Worse.)
Anonymous - no chance. His blog is what is called "fucking excellent, considered, moving and very funny at times", whilst mine is just OK. It takes Effort to do what he does.
Philip - Bonjour. OK then. Does that mean I can't do the one about reading another fucking article about 'female bloggers' written by someone who doesn't write a blog, doesn't understand,for a second,what it's about, and has it all wrong, yet again? (She mentions Petite Anglaise and Girl with a one track mind - both of whom are excellent but always mentioned in these articles against a context of 80,000 new blogs being written every day. LIttle Red Boat is brill, for example, and not a diary, and not all the other things that spazzer journos say they are.) Oh dear, I've posted by Stealth. New Tactic. Sensational!
Sweetie - not a criticism, but a tip - you could always make use of the "Save as draft" facility to save your posts up, and then "release" them gradually into blogland, for us slowpokes who can't keep up.
Alternatively, just keep doing what you're doing. I, for one, would like to read this "female blogger" rant post, it sounds intriguing!
Yo doll. I am sadly aware of this super facility on Blogger and have about 300 posts (which I really must remember to delete) sitting there, unpublished, as most of them are shit, particularly the one about everyone smoking fags in 'This Life'. But thank you.
I fear it will Happen, this rant. If you want to see the (shit) article in question, nick someone's December Marie-Claire. Prepare To Be Unamazed.
If only they knew, eh?
x
I don't think you over post. At least when I log on there is something to read.
oh no I like what you do ... tis ace. You shall be getting no 'Constructive Criticism' from me.
If you have the energy, and time, to post twice a day, you keep it up please.
Even if you won't include my ottermonkey in your monkey gallery. *sobs*
And that chimp chef does look evil. A bit like a gremlin methinks.
my god, there's something wrong with the world if you won't include a timbo ottermonkey. have you seen his otter collection. makes a little tear come to my eye....too flippin' adorable for words. ah go on.
and I bet you a fiver you never ever ever use any of those saved drafts. ever.
WHAT ottermonkey?
You are Correct. I will NEVER use the drafts. They are TERRIBLE.
x
Is your email address not lucy@spiffin.net? If it's not then I apologise now for being an invalid. If it is then check your bloody junk mail.
I think you will find said ottermonkey within...
Yes, it is. I am not a cretin, and have already checked. I demand you send it again.
thank you for your attention.
I don't think that you post too much, either. First thing in the morning, when I am trying to find reasons to delay starting work (I work from home at the moment), I check your blog. Last thing, when am too tired to start anything and not tired enough to go to bed, I find myself orbiting around your blog, Jonathan Cainer ("Relinquish what grip you have and relax. Your dearest wish has already been heard" - cool!) and the Daily Mail Which I Would Never Actually Buy ...
I feel I'd like to see the rant about peopl esmoking in "This Life." I think you should Release it.
Now, as to the popcorn monkeys, I ger up in the US and I remembered them instantly when I saw them here! Wow! I don't remember being scared of them as a child, but I think I can't say I exactly liked them. I think my main relationship with them was that we weren't allowed to have Jiffy Pop popcorn, because Mama Baroque didn't like buying either brands or instant easy food - we had to have actual real food - & of course I just thought it was terribly unfair. So those monkeys were a symbol of deprivation to me.
You post as much as you like! It's always fun.
You know what? I meant I "grew" up. Obviously. Today I'm blaming the steroid eye drops but you, NWM, know the truth.
IT is resent, and you have been attended to.
(I used capital letters like you do)
TIM CAN YOU SEND IT TO NON-WORKINGMONKEY@HOTMAIL.COM THERE IS SOMETHING FIRM ABOUT MY SPAM FILTER IT IS SET TO REJECT OTTERMONKEYS. TIM ALSO ARE YOU A SMARTARSE OR DO YOU SECRETLY LOVE ME A BIT BUT IN A WAY YOU DARE NOT TALK ABOUT IN PUBLIC?
Ms B - I am Delighted by this story of your childhood! But fear Not the monkey, he is Benign (and not real). Hope the eyes not too sore my dear.
Indigo - thank you for your Kindesses.
I am a smartarse, which Mrs Timbo can attest to, and I do love you just a weeny bit, but only in a platonic monkey-love type way. Whatever that is.
And after all this you'd better put the bloody ottermonkey in the gallery, or else I shall be massively upset. I might even cry a bit.
Please refer to photo I e-mailed you of J. Fred Muggs-now that is a scary primate/simian/monkey/chimp whatever..What about Tarzan's buddy Cheetah?
I feel as if I am interrupting a Private Conversation Between Friends, but I just wanted to mention that I don't think you post too much. Just about right. Thank you.
I didn't know you could get coked bubble gum. Maybe it allows you to blow bubbles out of your nose. Scary monkeys indeed.
The Post office is now like play school, where they test your parcel in a 2D letterbox to see how much you have to pay. It's called progress. Bit like the tax officer who was recently asked by consultants whether the banana on her desk was "active or inactive?"
You don't post to much NWM, we just read too slowly.
Can I ask MM whether she was ever grateful that you weren't twins?
My Mum said that to me once, and I wasn't sure it was a compliment
You don't post enough! (you aren't the only one non-working ye know)
Perhaps the answer to the 'excessive post' notion is to have one blog withjust the best bits and another director's cut one with all the posts for those of us who can read without moving our lips?
Its your blog, you can post if you want to!
Anyway....I wasn't advocating you limited it to two
Post, Monkey, post
PS
Looking forward to the This Life post
Ah, I remember what your Capitalisation of Certain Words reminds me of - not of Pooh Bear but of Daisy A, authoress of The Visiters (sic).
As an aside, The Archers has turned into a gothic novel. Or something by that original Angry Young Man. I never listen to it, as you know (it's just on between things I want to hear), but currently it is completely unlistentoable.
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