Day 95: I Am Drunk, And Then I Am Not

Lunchtime Booze is evil, and should be stopped. I know what happens when I drink when it is light outside, and every time I meet someone for lunch I swear I will have one glass of faine waine then come home and read Proust. But no. For today I went out, and came back many hours later a bottle and a half of wine down. In the evening, that would barely touch the sides; but in the afternoon, it makes me do things I would otherwise not do.

1. Reply to emails v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y as I am concentrating. I know for a Fact ("Are you OK? You sound cross"), that I sound cross, when I am not; I am merely trying very hard to put the letters in the right order, and the apostrophes in the right place.

2. Sing to myself (usually Elbow) in the style of Tammy Wynette whilst looking in cupboards.

3. Eat toast.

4. Run hot baths and lie in them wondering at the miracle of my toes, which seem very, very far away.

5. Write lists of things I haven't done as have been drunk all afternoon.

6. Decide to sell the flat and live in a hut in a field.

I am sober again now and full of regret. Luckily, I am also in my dressing gown having eaten toast and had a hot bath, and I should probably go and have a little lie down.