(Second time round for this today. I somehow managed to publish the first one twice, then delete it twice. I have also broken my television; I was scanning the channels, or whatever it's called, and now the box thing is tuned, but no pictures or words come up. What do I do now? Read a book?)
Yes sirree bob!
Who is Bob, and what does this mean? No matter. I shall say it anyway.
There is no 'I' in team, but there is a 'u' in 'cunt'.
Old, but good.
Why are you talking?
Very strong.
You know him? When they held a competition for cunts, he came second. And do you know why? Because he is such a cunt.
Speaks for itself, I think.
Are you an only child?
Ditto.
See you next Tuesday!
Only works if you say it as you are leaving a roomful of twats, having just discussed the fact that you will see each other again on Friday.
Got to say. I looked like one HELLUVA cunt.
I find this very amusing, for reasons that aren't quite clear.
I think most of these require having a job and accepting that everyone will hate you. Oh well.
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7 comments:
Had you considered using some other words to describe self and others? e.g. silly person, twit, idiot, cretin, moron, etc. They may be rude-ish, but Monkeygrandpa would only be mildly shocked that a laydee should use such words. I feel it may be slightly upsetting to potential gentleman callers that a laydee should have such an unfortunate vocabulary. Think on't!
'The work I do goes not some small way toward paying your mortgage. Show me some respect.'
Very drunk, said to the wife of my GM at the time. I then tried to get her to fetch me drinks all night.
She was very good about it.
Very strong work, Infinitemuppets, with your last suggestion. I have put it in my notebook. The cunt telling me to watch my language is my mother, who will almost certainly be laughing her head off from wherever she is. She wants the best for me, which is why she stopped me from wearing dungarees and hobnailed boots early last year - didn't think itw as very feminine.
TD - also going in my notebook.
Claire - thank you. Mine is piss-poor Top Up TV. I have no real aerial (long story) so will try your tip tomorrow morning.
So, Monkeymother might be upset about the fact that I hang out with midgets and do blow off of their tiny asses?
I just need clarification. From a laydee.
Dunno. But she'll probably tell you. I doubt it though. She's very tolerant.
Not much bothers me in life really - live and let live and all that - but I just feel NWM should keep the use of cunt for special occasions. Apart from the fact that it really upsets some people (although I've never understood why it's that much worse than calling someone a cock), said or shouted judiciously and probably, therefore, rarely, I think it might have more impact. Me, I prefer fuckwit.
I agree. Fuckwit is quite nice.
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