Cat: Miaow.
Me: Get out of my fucking way, you knobber.
Later.
Squirrels: Yak yak yak (squirrel noise)
Me: Shit OFF, you cunts.
Later:
Dog in the street: Woof! Woof! WOOF!
Me: Cock OFF, doghead.
My parents must be so glad they spent all that money on my education.
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8 comments:
Here's a present. I call it "If I could morph with the animals". See if you can spot them all.
Have a delightful weekend.
Monkeygrandpa always said: "I don't mind your knowing the words, as long as you know when to use them". I feel none of these instances would please him.
At least being a monkey, no one would ever mistake you for a lady.
Kav - I'm keeping it for tonight. I'm not going out, you see. I am staying in and watching the Televisual. That is because I went out today and am over-excited.
Maman - I feel ASHAMED.
... i never do sex scenes, chewing gum in places, or too many f words (and never the c word) because my mother is out there reading it... and then she tells embarrassing stories from my youth in MY comment box. monekymother, you are very understanding of your daughter's blogging needs.
I think my own mother would approve of this sort of post, which explains quite a lot.
My mother is very understanding and rather marvellous generally, and should really have a blog of her own, although she will stubbornly continue to ignore my many pleading emails.
Pi - see this is a Beautiful Place in which you can swear as much as you like. I hadn't thought of it the other way round as it goes... interesting.
The strange thing is that the minute I come into contact with (for e.g.) an imaginary boyfriend's parents, someone who is interviewing me, or anyone who looks nice, I can't swear. I don't even do it consciously; I just can't do it.
With a vocabulary like that it was obviously money well spent.
I didn't think I looked that bad.
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