Day 18: I Feel A Strange Affection For The Place Of My Birth

London is strange at the moment and not very loveable. Tourists everywhere walking very slowly down the middle of the street and then stopping; 1.34m students all coming out of the same language school on Oxford Street at the same time, bringing commerce to a standstill; horrible, oppressive heat that means I itch and can't sleep; tubes you can't go on because they're so hot that you might DIE. Even my stupid cat spends his days walking around trying to find cool patches on the floor and collapsing. We both wish it would rain.

It's still pretty good though, London, even if it is expensive, very hot, full of idiots and so annoying sometimes it makes me shout. I am thinking mainly of modes of transport, journeys and bridges at the moment. Not sure why. Anyway, some things that are always good, even if London is having a bad day:

Black Cabs
Expensive, yes. But big. You can get 5 people in them, no sweat. You can sit on the back seat and stretch your legs out in front of you and still have room for someone or something else. You can extend your legs out to the side on the back seat, even if you're pushing 5ft 9 like I am. They know where they're going. In a black cab, you are safe from harm, always. If it's raining and your heart's been broken, the yellow light on a black cab tells you everything is going to be OK.

London Busses
Pretty stupid if I'm honest, but sit at the front of the top deck and go over a bridge from South to North on a cold bright day and you feel like you're driving it, and about to fall off the world. Brilliant.

Going Over Westminster Bridge At Night, Going Home North To South
To my right: the Houses of Parliament lit up like a Christmas tree. To my left: the London Eye, and blue fairy lights in all the trees along South Bank, and in the distance St Paul's Cathedral, and all the beautiful things.

The Victoria Line
The Prince of tube lines. It doesn't always work, and it isn't air conditioned, but it goes from Brixton to all the places the people I like the best live, and where all the interesting things are.

St James' Park
We have more park per person than any other city in the world, which I like. Random allocation of space with deckchairs and weird trees that you can hide yourself in. St James' Park is my favourite. It's not that big, but it's in the middle of a bit of London that contains Buckingham Palace, and the Mall, and Parliament Square, and the ICA, and Trafalgar Square, and all the big twinkly famous things. And it has deckchairs, and weeping willows, and water, and a bandstand, and a hut that sells fizzy pop and ice cream. And you can sit in it at night and kiss someone on a bench and no-one will know.

Driving Through The City In The Middle Of The Night
In the day, the City is full of cocks in suits. In the night, it's deserted, and full of great big monumental buildings, like the Gherkin, all lit up with nowhere to go. Strange, but good.

The 159 Bus
From the end of my road through everything brilliant (Brixton - Kennington - over Westminster Bridge - Parliament Square - Trafalgar Square - wiggle round the back - Regent's Street - Oxford Street and occasionaly Baker Street). Not a Routemaster anymore, so no bar at the front to rest your teeth on, and no open back end to jump off on the corner of Regent's Street and Picadilly Circus, but still better than any rubbish tourist bus you could pay for.

Charlotte Street in summer
Not Soho, and not really anywhere. Full of restaurants, and people thinking they're in Sardinia eating on the street, and people falling out of pubs, and cabs, and noise, and not that many tourists. Which is good.

The Horniman Museum
Sod the V&A, National History Museum and Science Museum. Actually, don't, they're brilliant and weird and funny and all together in a row. But the Horniman has lovely gardens that people look after, lollies in freezers, African masks, and cabinets full of strange things. And it's free.

Driving From Hackney To Brixton In The Middle Of The Night
A journey that takes an hour and a half in the day takes 20 minutes at night. Whizz down Broadgate, over London Bridge, spin recklessly through Elephant and Castle, look up at the big flat Georgian faces of houses in Kennington, zoom through Brixton, past the church, up the hill and home.

Seeing Bands In Somerset House
One day a Civil Servant thought, I know - let's put on gigs in the middle of a building that contains government offices and a very famous art collection, only let in about 2,000 people, let them drink pints of Pimms and beer and that and then they can watch bands, watch the lights changing as night falls, look at the building, which is very lovely, feel it's all slightly surreal and then go home. Inspired.

Skating In Somerset House
I know, thought the same Civil Servant, rather than letting the courtyard in the middle of Somerset House be empty for the winter, let's TURN IT INTO AN ICE RINK. In the middle of London. In the middle of a load of ... well, same as above really.

Lidos
Tooting and Brockwell Park. I am speechless with love for them both.

I could go on all night. I don't know what's happened. I've spent the last 10 years saying I want to move to the country, but I'm in love with London at the moment. That's because I've got time to take busses, wander up and down streets, look at the tops of buildings, and see things I didn't know were there. Another reason not to work, I suppose.