Day 16: I Act Upon Some Career Advice

Apparently what you do is you write a list of stuff, under the following headings, and then that'll tell you what you REALLY want to do for a job regardless of what you THINK you should do:

1. Competent
2. Incompetent
3. Excellent
4. Special Talent.

Right, here goes:

Competent

Typing
Answering phone
Sending emails
Not killing halfwits in meetings
Writing with my hand
Smiling at people I think are idiots
Doing stuff with numbers

Incompetent

Being polite to everyone
Doing clever stuff with numbers
Putting up with being spoken to like I'm a spaz
Not staring out of the window for long, long periods of time
Not being able to resist lying under my desk for a kip c. 3pm

Excellent

Time wasting
Making other people waste time
Knowing when things look wrong
Sending sarcastic emails
Dealing with crises
Being subversive
Making complicated ideas simple
Using apostrophes.

Special Talents

Being "the Prime Minister of talking to people like they're idiots"
Cutting the head off plastic pigs and giving them to someone, referring to a particularly awful story we once heard
Mis-spelling the word 'Leprechaun' (e.g. liprokern, likprin, lkprn) and exchanging different versions with friend at work for at least 10 minutes at a time
Constructing ridiculous scenarios (e.g., 'Judi Dench called. Said she'd be the voice of the brand indefinitely for £1'), then saying '... but I told her not to bother'
Shouting "get back to work" at my team when have feet up on desk and am eating sweets.

Nope. It's not helping much. Any ideas?