I have a question

Do not say I do not keep you 'on your toes', dear readers! Tell me - does anyone know if there's a way of grabbing all the content of a blog (e.g. this one) and copying it and pasting it elsewhere (e.g. a word processing application, e.g. Word) without copying and pasting each post individually, even the really bad ones?

In other news, I am constructing my "To Do, 2010" list. So far, I have this:

1. do more bread-making lessons with Mr Homo;
2. keep fringe for 6 months (trims allowed);
3. do not leave dental floss on floor next to sofa;
4. cancel appointment with homeopath who claims lemons are not acidic;
5. re-commence the magnificent Marguerite Patten Potluck Project.

Amazingly, the list is not yet completed because I am still thinking of things to go on it, but if anyone has any suggestions for things they think I should do, do let me know!*

Pip pip!

NWM

*"Stop writing your fuck-awful blog" is not, I am afraid, an option - unless you give me £5,000 in old pence.

I have a little sit down

Turkey sandwiches ahoy, me hearties!!!

Earlier cakes (i.e. my 'fruit cake') were - how shall I put this? -  a visual metaphor for this web-blog, i.e. my readers (you) sitting in a circle listening to a monkey in a fez (me).

This cake, however, is something different: a gigantic festive log, almost 6 ft long, made mainly of mascarpone and Sharffen Berger chocolate (approx. 57kg) upon which I sit, deep in thought.  (You can tell I am lost in thought because I have not noticed the light snow flurry that has passed over.)

But why am I deep in thought? Because I am thinking of all the things I am going to do next year, that is why. Some of them involve a baker called Dominique Homo, and some of them are things I will tell you.

Pip pip!

I provide a special Christmas treat for my readers

Last night, your wellbeing and happiness as always paramount, the French-Canadian veterinarian histopathologist with whom I share my life (and fleas) and I drove for an hour to look at the astonishing lights of Dorval* in order to select a few 'choice examples' to share with you today, i.e. Christmas Day.

As you will see, they are all short films; you may have to turn the sound up - and in one, as a special Christmas bonus, you will hear the pathologist snort like a pig!

Happy Christmas, one and all!!








(I cannot say what the good people of Dorval thought as we crept up and down their streets in our Subaru stopping to film and photograph - suffice to say that as we were leaving, the police arrived!!!)


* Like Heathrow, i.e. suburban, next to the airport and under the flight path, but with nicer houses.

I decorate my Christmas cake

As you can see, my Christmas cake 2009 is in fact a depiction of - or visual metaphor for, perhaps? - this web-blog, i.e. I speak (protected by trees), and people gather round and listen in awe. In some cases (as depicted by one of the mushrooms), listeners (a.k.a. 'readers') remove their hats as a mark of respect.

I am joining the hunt for the Co-op bum sniff deviant

This is the best story I've read all year. I love The Sun.*

* True fact: they were my client, with the News of the World, for about three years, and I loved every minute of it.