Now what

I shit you not. I am falling apart.  It is vaguely entertaining to watch. Sometimes people look at me and they say, "Are you OK?", and I say, "I am fine!!". Some people pat me on the shoulder and say, "Don't give up!", and I say,  "I never do". Things I have done since February:

1. Put back on all the weight I lost last year, and more;
2. Done something to my shoulder;
3. Done something to my knee;
4. Scratched the eczema in my ear until it bled;
5. Fell down the stairs and thought it was funny because (weirdly) I couldn't feel anything at all, even though landed more or less on head;
6. Stood in a street and shouted "I am not getting emotional. I am merely saying, dispassionately, that I HATE IT";
7. Baked over 80 miniature cakes for 'co-workers' (as they call colleagues in North America);
8. Bought a book called "How to Manage" as a joke, but no-one thought it was funny;
9. Put those stickers you put on things when you move offices on the 8ft whiteboard in my old office, genuinely believing that someone would unscrew it and move it up a floor to new office whose walls are less than 8ft long; 
10. Twice left the W Hotel (once in Miami, once in Boston) in a cab to buy giant Post-Its ($50 a pad!!!) whilst said cab waits outside, only to return me to a meeting room for 2 days;
11. Agreed to a weekly conference call at 11pm on Thursdays;
12. Agreed to a weekly conference call at 10pm on Wednesdays;
13. Forgot to send (or indeed buy) Christmas cards; 
14. Three times in the last week phoned someone up and then forgot why I was calling them; 
15. Four times last week went somewhere to do something and couldn't remember why I was there; 
16. Was grateful for the fact that I wake up early, not because I can take time to drink a nice cup of tea and look out of the window and think sexytime with a younger John Humphrys, but because a bonus 5am start means  more time to do work in; 
17. Called my computer a cunt at least 58 times a week; 
18. Bought a handbag for quite a lot of money (not more than $300) just because it is more convenient for putting a passport in at the aeroport;
19. Checked the air miles balance of my various cards to see if I had enough air miles to run away with (to the moon);
20. And some other stuff I can't remember. 

I am going to Amsterdam for a bit.  Someone gave me some Ambien for a flight I was supposed to be taking to Singapore a few weeks ago, but I am thinking I may 'pop a pill' on the 7 hour flight to tomorrow and spend Tuesday pleasingly furry inside my head.  And then I will sleep for a week, waking only to call Singapore (Thursday, 11pm), and Japan (Wednesday, 10pm). God help us if Australia join in. 

Pip "Snooze" Pip

NWM