I have been to Miami of late. Called a "fucking shit" by a cab driver with one leg, I drank too much tequila and nearly fell in the hotel pool.
The next day, returning to Canada via Burlington (for reasons too distressing to relate), I was followed on two flights by a woman with the kind of voice that causes parts of your skull to shrink closer to your brain to protect it from bad forces. "I saw something so cool outside Target this morning", she said. "A man with only a head and a torso, on a stand. No arms. No legs. Just a head and a torso, on a stand. Sad. But also SO COOL. Do you want a breakfast burrito?"
Her children did not want a breakfast burrito. Nor did the "maid", or her husband, Eric.
I will write more in a minute. I have to go and eat a tortilla. I am scared.
The next day, returning to Canada via Burlington (for reasons too distressing to relate), I was followed on two flights by a woman with the kind of voice that causes parts of your skull to shrink closer to your brain to protect it from bad forces. "I saw something so cool outside Target this morning", she said. "A man with only a head and a torso, on a stand. No arms. No legs. Just a head and a torso, on a stand. Sad. But also SO COOL. Do you want a breakfast burrito?"
Her children did not want a breakfast burrito. Nor did the "maid", or her husband, Eric.
I will write more in a minute. I have to go and eat a tortilla. I am scared.
5 comments:
I would like to borrow your "froglet" vacation photo to illustrate a post I am thinking about on my blog about a "toadlet" in our basement that we almost step on every time we go on there. Is there a proper procedure for me to do this without bringing your wrath down upon my head? More details about "head and torso on a stand.
More details altogether please. How do you know he had one leg? Were you actually a fucking shit or was he being quite unreasonable? Did you make or buy the tortilla and was it delicious?
Should I like your Facebook page? I'm thinking I prefer Google+ on the whole, but I'm hedging my bets so far.
Wish you'd written it was a cab driver with one leg called Jesus, then I could have used my no. 5 joke. Curses!
What was in that tortilla? It's been 2 days...
Dear Leilani, you may of course use my photograph. With pleasure, etc.
Z- I SAW HE ONLY HAD ONE LEG. THE LEFT LEG WAS NOT THERE. I was being harsh, but fair. I bought the tortilla, and yes, it was. You should be my friend on Facebook, as God knows I need them.
In it? Only tortilla. Uh huh.
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