We are in the pub drinking beer and trying answer questions in the 'pub quiz'. We are very bad at it; despite me remembering the lyrics to "Fly Me To The Moon" and someone else knowing the name of the biggest lake in the Prairies, we are really quite bad; in one round, we are able to answer only one out of the ten questions, possibly because those questions are about hockey and Uranus.
Conversation turns to the special toy my very clever designer friend made for some monkeys when she was at art school (of which more another time; I need another day to digest it as it really is one of the best stories I have ever heard), and then to Chatroulette.
"Don't do it when you're alone, do it with other people", says my other friend, A; "there are A LOT of cocks". "True", says our clever designer friend, "but when I did it with Scott, we just put a shrunken head on a stick in front of the webcam. And then Scott won a staring contest with another person, who didn't have his cock out."
I am with my very clever designer friend again today. We walk more than three miles to buy some chickpea flour and a fascimile of Michael Schumacher's latest cap, and have a discussion about whether spending $149 on a pale blue Le Creuset cast iron sauté pan is a good use of an extraordinarily generous wedding present voucher.
We look for chestnuts to deter her spiders (marrons glacés will not do); we talk about her pet hedgehog; I buy the unsuspicious preserved lemons in a jar; we have a splendid lunch and an English lady sitting behind us tells me that she couldn't go to Paris, and so came to Montreal instead, "because it's the same!".
I do not know how much travelling she has done up until now, but I do not have the heart to tell her that Montreal is not that much like Paris and nod at her and say "yes, it is very pretty in Montreal (in the summer)!". Still, she is nice and her girlfriend tells everyone within earshot (i.e. one mile) how "spicy fresh" everything is; we are given free drinks and the sun is out and pavement only smells a little bit like wee. It is the most excellent of non-working days.
We are walking back when the conversation turns to Chatroulette again. "So what you're saying is that most of it is cocks?", I ask, probably too loudly, because an old Italian lady in a red wig looks sharply up at us as we limp by, and blows her fag smoke scornfully into her crinkled bosoms.
"No", says my clever designer friend, "It's more ... cock-cock-cock-cock-cock-normal person, cock-normal person-cock- cock-cock-normal person, normal person-pair of girls looking a bit confused-cock-cock-person staring, cock-cock-cock-normal person. Something like that."
Time passes. We are home! We say goodbye both knowing, beyond all things, that the very first thing we will all do after we have finished our planned Three Fondue Dinner* is get out the big laptop and hang over the back of the sofa, having a go on Chatroulette.
* Meat, Cheese, Chocolate, stomach pump optional
8 comments:
Le Crueset anything is worth it...my favorite pece is my dou feu, a kind of primative slow cooker, inwhich you place ice cubes on the lid..
Punxxi, you are IMPOSSIBLY fancy. I am in awe! But I will say that one of my most-loved things is a gigantic Le Creuset that could probably take a medium sized dog, a present from the same people who gave me the voucher to which I refer. Yes.
...and we have cocks again! This time on webcams rather than statuary.
As a general rule I refuse to answer questions about Uranus, preserving a dignified silence.
Cannot comment on Le Creuset as I haven't gotten beyond the oooh-lovely-color-AUUUUGH!!!-THE-PRICE! stage, but everyone knows very very generous vouchers are meant to be spent on utterly wonderful and otherwise unattainable items.
Finally - the combination of cock and webcam thoroughly frightens me. There are times when my Mormon upbringing does haunt, oh yes.
Yes to the pretty blue Le Creuset and some little wooden spoons. You must. The blue was so very pretty. I'll walk with you the whole many miles and back to collect them.
A frightening thing about chatroulette: You could screenshot it, couldn't you? Not frightening for us of course, but for the cocks. At Three Fondue Dinner we will play and perhaps do a tally of cocks vs normal people.
While I'm more in love with the green, the blue is lovely. Of course you should buy it. The fact that you are still thinking about it tells you how right it is to have it.
You are RIGHT Asta. Clauds, we will walk again to JT next week (Monday?). YOu know it. And this time, we will walk back. That will be about 7 miles. And than we can eat confections all afternoon.
I have been stretching and so am ready for anything. We will go to JT this week (Monday?). You in your fancy shoes, me in my tube socks & windbreaker. I know of at least 5 worthwhile stops for confections to visit along the way!
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