Yes it is true. To get us all in the Christmas spirit, as it were, I am offering one lucky reader the chance to win a signed photograph of me AND a box of appropriately festive biscuits (that I will make myself) as a prize for the best short essay (in no more than 150 characters) on the following subject: "Why I Think Non-workingmonkey Is Great*"
I would suggest that you 'insert your oeuvre' in the comments box but if you wish to submit your submission privately, you may do so by emailing me at the address you will find on your right.
The competition closes this Friday 4th December, and the winner will be announced on Sunday 6th December. The prize(s) will be despatched on Monday 7th December which, according to the mighty Canada Post, means you will have it by Christmas.
What greater bliss is there? None!
* You may insert another (positive) superlative here if you wish.
15 comments:
I am disappointed that you have had no entries to your competition yet, but I have really got to do some homework rather than pretending to work while surfing blogs and doing online jigsaws. And I feel bad that I will win, giving nobody else a chance. So I will return tomorrow, and send Marguerite round too, and we will have a go then.
I followed your link to a previous competition (Day 382 - of what I am not certain, I'm quite new here) and feel confident that the quality of entries will be up to your usual standard.
Non-working monkey is a stir-fry of calamity and genius, like a second helping of the world’s best pancakes served in a tumble dryer. It’s what happens when “je ne sais quoi” humps the leg of quiet desperation. This blog reminds me of the early voyageurs who boldly paddled through an unknown land, slapping mosquitoes as they went. Maybe it’s the man in the cardboard boat or the banner with the flag-hoisting beaver, but either way, around every bend there is a little bit more to learn, a little bit more to despise about homeopathy. Mais oui, alright?
I make that 555 characters, PurestGreen!
But have to grudgingly admit it's rather good. Not sure I can match that.
With dry-rot puppy-porn wit and scorn, she makes us blush and then weep for more.
Sting sends Trudie for sugary snacks to munch on while he reads.
I didn't read the directions properly - I read words, not characters. Sigh. I hang my head in shame.
Actually it's so good I've decided to make the limit 555 characters. But only if it's really good. Decided by me and the pathologist.
I wish I was clever, witty and funny. I'm not, but Non-workingmonkey is. That's why I think Non-workingmoney Is Great.
YOU ARE ALL DOING REALLY WELL!! I am delighted by the raw simplicity of Zoe's work, the promise of Lola and Marguerite, the tension of the Squirrel ... tomorrow is another day, and so is Friday and quite frankly if it carries on like this I think there will be a very tough judging session on Saturday!
An offering (though I have picked my favourite from thems thus far).
Words, characters, 555 I care not, for what I will do is rhyme.
So much on this topic I can say, but a monkey-ego is a crime
'Working while not really working at all’ made me cry out: “Yes!”
Waxes, bicycles and neighbouring twats, what’s next? I can never guess.
NMW, whilst wearing your fez you bake with those monkey hands, festive biscuits to put into a box to post to far-off lands…
[expectant pause]
…insert will you please, something precious:
Absinthe – though just a drop…
I live in Clapham South you see, it’s the worst part of London to shop
(and get a pint and get to anywhere useful especially since they’ve closed the station for “upgrading”).
I hope in these heavily punctuated phrases that I did write,
it comes across, NMW, that you’re alright.
Thank you.
are you taking the piss? have people been going on about "oeuvres" in that nudge wink way some more, is that what this is about?
Monkey pants, monkey face, Non-Working Monkey is just ace!
Monkey tum and monkey chest,
Non-Working Monkey is the best!
(As any fule kno)
Best I can do, I've still got to finish my homework.
xx
Sorry darling, I have my reputation to consider. Can't lower myself to enter any tacky competition despite Lola's assurances that it is extremely tasteful and a real 'hoot', just think of the publicity at my age.
Have a very festive season, I shall be raising a glass of absinthe to the Simian race, and no doubt return to review your attempts at sophisticated cookery in the New Year.
I am currently making myself happy by muttering "Non-Murking Wunkey" to myself after reading Alannah's offering...
You are incredible, all of you (except the comment I just deleted)! I urge you onwards, ever onwards, dear readers! There is going to be some LIVELY DISCUSSION about the topick of the winner on Sunday - and, may I say, some 'Winner Biscuit Baking". Hold on to your hats!!
well, bugger. i had my flu jabs and felt lousy, so didn't log on till today. too late. however....
non-working monkey is, quite simply, the bees bollocks.
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