Yes, it is true. After much deliberation ("do you like your snack plate? Do you? Do you?"), we (i.e., me and the French-Canadian veterinary research pathologist to whom I am married), have chosen a winner for my competition.
As a reminder to new readers, or those who have lost their train of thought over the last few days, the competition was this: a prize of some biscuits (made by me) and a signed photograph of me in my chair would be given to the best answer to the question "Why I Think Non-workingmonkey is Great", in 150 characters or less (fewer?).
There have been a great many excellent entries which you may read by looking at the comments on the original post here, but there is one that stands out by over one million miles for a number of different reasons:
1. It suggests that its author is EITHER unable to read basic instructions OR (more to my liking), willfully ignores them, i.e. "150 characters or less"*;
2. It is funny;
3. It contains a phrase that stinks of genius.
Here is the full entry here:
"Non-working monkey is a stir-fry of calamity and genius, like a second helping of the world’s best pancakes served in a tumble dryer. It’s what happens when “je ne sais quoi” humps the leg of quiet desperation. This blog reminds me of the early voyageurs who boldly paddled through an unknown land, slapping mosquitoes as they went. Maybe it’s the man in the cardboard boat or the banner with the flag-hoisting beaver, but either way, around every bend there is a little bit more to learn, a little bit more to despise about homeopathy. Mais oui, alright?"
However, we have decided to take from the full-cream version the bit that pleases us most, and re-enter it into the competition, making the final - and magnificent - winner the legendary Purest Green with the immortal - if somewhat edited - line:
"Non-workingmonkey is what happens when "je ne sais quoi" humps the leg of quiet desperation."
Congratulations, Purest Green! Send in your address (email address over there on the right somewhere) and I will send you biscuits and a signed photograph. Coming tomorrow: the (unedited) runners-up.
Pip pip!
* Extra 1000 points for not doing what you are told, which I entirely salute being, as I am, the daughter of a woman who was thrown out of the Brownies for insubordination, probably aged about 7.
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4 comments:
I have won a prize! I am worried that the biscuits will go stale by time they get to Scotland, so perhaps a runner up closer to home could eat them in my honour and you could send me the signed photograph and an extra photo of the biscuits I would have eaten?
Thanks for picking me! I should sell my talents in the blog world as an offbeat describer of things and people. Woot!
Despite my excitement at the thought of having entered a competition that it is not inconceivable that I should win, I submit with good grace. Congratulations PurestGreen! Is your name because of Blackadder?
I told my husband yesterday that I had entered a competition on the interweb, and the look on his face was better than any prize.
You're right, it was the best by a mile. Curse my conformist brain for blindly following instructions. No matter though - there's no arguing about it, PurestGreen's words were of a far superior quality. Well done!
Congratulations PurestGreen! I confess, twas my favourite too.
Wunkey, you have seen right through my tricks; saw me striving for the sympathy vote. Instead, you erred on the side of talent: I am humbled by your greatness.
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