Meanwhile, the list of awful words grows and grows. It is great. As ever, new words at the top; where appropriate, the supplier of the word can be accessed by pressing on the word they have supplied.
Beverage
Spacious (as in, "spacious property")
Ensuite (as in, "they have an en suite" - the "bathroom" part is usually left off)
Take as in "So, what's your take on antimacassars then?"
Twist as in "a modern twist on the antimacassar"
Fleshy
Nestling ("...in a bed of lettuce")
Drizzled
Sourced ("for crying out loud", adds the anonymous submitter)
Coulis
Suckling
And this particularly good suggestion from Dan (who has no blog):
'The'. Yep. When people refer to their own medical conditions and try to detach themselves from them. Like not using 'my' somehow sounds less distasteful. "It turns out the infection has spread to THE eyes from THE arse etc". In the way that dog owners try to pretend that the animal crapping on the pavement is nothing to do with them despite their being connected to it by a length of chain.
Oh, and 'quilt'? As a noun.
* If I need to explain why this numberplate caught my attention (and not in a good way), you are no longer allowed to read this web-blog.
26 comments:
I nominate "wholesome." What does that even mean? It's generally applied to horribly unhealthy processed food items that are intended make you think of traditional values and your mother in the kitchen. And don't even get me started on its use in phrases like "wholesome family fun." It just strikes me as vaguely facist.
Is "utilise" on there yet, and if not why not?
I hate "take" too, but, as in "Uhh... I'll take the hamburger, with cheese and uh, I'll take a coke with that." blech. It's barbaric.
I can't stand it when people say "went" when they really mean "said", such as: "I went, 'No you can't.' Then he went, 'Yes, I can.'"
Oh, I drive a BMW and I would never have a license plate like that! (Can I still read your blog though?)
"access" as in "you access the car park from the road" or "access to the room is via the stairs". There's ALWAYS a better word. And I might as well mention "via" while I'm at it. There's just no reason for them.
Ooh, just remembered a couple of other Americanisms:
'healthful' - not only is it actually a really tricky word to say, with all sorts of tongue and lip gymnastics taking place between the 'th' and the 'f', it's a rubbish word. The correct word, people, is 'healthy'!
'Apparel' - The US is the only English-speaking country that still uses a 17th century word to describe what everyone else calls 'clothing' or 'fashion' when related to shops. Actually, to be honest, I quite like this little Shakespearean quirk so don't think it should be banned as such, I just wanted to point it out!
Oh, and how could I have forgotten 'normalcy'? It's goddamn NORMALITY.
I have a friend who once said to a client: "let's liaise next week and diarise something".
I say: let's ban 'em both.
Can you have good words, like antimacassar and fortnight? And do they make up for bad words?
Utensil, although for the life of me I don't know why.
Orientate, along with commentate - sounds like people trying to be impressively polysyllabic by slinging extra bits on. Although I could be terribly iggerant and it isn't really orient and comment.
My language pet peeve is not so much the word itself as how it's being used.
I cannot STAND IT when people use the first person reflexive pronoun 'myself' instead of the subjective 'I' or objective 'me.'
As in, "Myself and Dave went to the theatre last night." or "You can come with the theatre with myself and Dave." I think it's part of the attempt to be impressively polysyllabic as Megan mentioned above.
Whatever the reason, I find it AARRGGHH!!! inducing.
oh no! am i to be banned from your blogdom? i used to drive a bmw z-4 and my plate read...z4playr.i don't have the car anymore, but i do have the plate.
"Found." Similar to sourced.
Generally used to make buying something sound more interesting than buying something.
As in, "I found this is a market/little stor on the left bank."
And "healthful."
Not really a specific word, but can i add the use of any swanky suburb name as an adjective, as in: "she's very belgrave" ?
And thinking further, maybe "swanky" should get a vote too...
I beg to differ with Mrs. Jones...
A live being is either healthy or not. That can be a plant or a human or an animal or a bacteria. Something that these beings consume is either healthful for them or not. The inanimate no-longer-alive item (potato chip, carrot stick) has lost its ability to be healthy because it is now dead.
"Wellness" as in "Wellness Clinic", "Wellness Centre".
To change the subject, I thought you might like to add one of these to your wedding list....
Any public notice beginning 'Please be advised' or 'Please be aware'.
'Critique' as a verb.
'Iconic'
'Legendary' when applied to any one alive or who has lived e.g. 'the legendary Groucho Marx'. Fair play to Groucho, but what legend did he ever appear in?
"oozing" as in "oozing confidence" yeurchhh
Monkeymother: do you mean both the friend and the client?
Yes, yes to the good words - what a good idea. Other than that, many of these will feature in the list - particularly 'utilise' and 'liaise'. (If you are wondering how this works, imagine a policeman in Harrow being interviewed on the 6pm news about an 'incident' - if you can see him saying it, it's probably right.)
nope. it's no good.
i just don't understand what is the joke with the numberplate shown.
could someone PLEASE enlighten me?
Get as a request. When people say at work (I'm a picture editor) 'can I get a picture of Obama?'. They're not asking if it's a possibility for them to get it, they're asking me to research, pay for, edit, crop and upload it for them.
No, you cannot. If you ask 'please may I have a picture of Obama' I'll consider doing it. Twats.
ah. okay. i've put the correct specs on now, and i UNDERSTAND!
thank fuck for that!
At the risk of not being allowed to read this blog again, what's wrong with a Californian having a Life is a Cabernet numberplate surround.
They are rightly proud of their wine industry. Indeed, the car may belong to a vintner for whom life actually is a cabernet.
May I suggest "bucket" as a good word.
Bucket.
Try it for yourself.
Bucket.
Hmmm mmm - full of consonanty goodness.
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