There is a LADY pushing a trolley up to the checkout in the supermarket. In her trolley is a PUMPKIN that she has plucked from the PUMPKIN PILE that is outside the supermarket*. The PUMPKIN takes up the entire trolley; it is in fact a miracle that she could get it in there in the first place. I wonder if she lifted in there herself, or whether she used a forklift truck.
She hefts the PUMPKIN in the trolley parallel with the lady at the checkout. She says to the lady,
"I wanted a bigger one, but I couldn't see any. Are there any more coming in the week?"
I look about me. Everyone else in the supermarket has a pumpkin. I do not want one though. I think that is because I am English, not Canadian.
* This is not a joke. The pumpkins are stacked up around a gigantic tractor, a tractor that would need a stepladder to get into.
12 comments:
You must buy a pumpkin and create a Jack-o-lantern else the Great Pumpkin will smite your home and all who live there (even the fleas)on October 31.
I should think Canada Immigration would have explained this most holy of holy rituals upon your arrival.
We had a pumpkin for our halloween party. I let my kids have one because I totally disapprove of Trick or Treating in a very English and possibly non rational type way.
I did feel quite anarchic when I drew spooky halloween faces on satsumas with black biro though! That was just messing with their heads, taking what is essentially a christmas fruit and kind of well, subverting it in an ironic halloweenish way!
How daring...
You really must borrow a child ( preferably two) and pay a visit to the local Pumpkin Patch for a jolly good time and a Hay Ride to boot.
I never enjoyed Halloween in the UK but since I moved I've really embraced this odd little holiday. Partly I imagine because I get to eat most of my sons hard earned sweets.
In York there were no pumpkins to be had when I was growing up, and my devoted, wonderful and frankly fucking insane stepfather spent long, painful, RSI inducing hours carving a SWEDE.
Pumkin, is however, the devil's vegetable. I have a chequered history of abandoning portions of pumpkin based foods under furniture.
You don't have a pumpkin??? Aaargh - the neighbourhood will shun you, small children will scream when they see you and eggs will be thrown at your windows. What are you going to do when the hordes come trick or treating???
Oh piffle! My town is, for some reason, boasting festive strings of jack-o-lantern electric lights all over the place. A mere trolley full of 30 pound pumpkin is nothing. Also my neighbor has three bales of straw, two shooks of "corn," one scarecrow of dubious construction and 18 pumpkins. 18 - I counted them. It is all beautifully set off against the poopy green fake stucco peeling off in sheets on his house in the background.
Funny, I've never questioned my need for large pumpkins around this time of year... It's like I wake up mid-October with a burning need to carve a face into a giant gourd and bake the insides for snacking purposes.
Sounds perfectly logical to me.
A 30 pound pumpkin? That's nothing. In Ohio they grow Giant Pumpkins that weigh over 1,000 pounds.
http://www.pumpkinshow.com/pumpkin.htm
hmmm, that reminds me, i need to eat breakfast...
i would rather smash my face into the nearest wall than EVER eat pumpkin, and i don't care to have one outside my door, candle or not!
fie on pumpkins!
they truly ARE the devil's food.
*pssst*
Have you see the fakes ones yet at Canadian Tire that light up and everything?
asta
We have ours! All carved and ready and sitting on the front porch. Tonight, when the trick-or-treaters come, it'll be lit up with a candle -- a convenient and festive way to let the kids know that yes, we're doling out the candy.
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