If you move to France, or retire to France, one would assume that you do it because, well, you like France. The next logical conclusion to that is that you therefore:
1. Like French people
2. Like French food
3. Consider it necessary (or, at the very least, good manners) to learn French in order to:
a) communicate with the people you live next door to;
b) be accepted by the local community;
c) have a fucking idea of what's going on around you.
Instead, in the local supermarket, the shelf space given over to the most ghastly of English foods grow ever bigger. The British Club swells; entire clusters of English people move here and talk only English to other English people, unable to even say 'hello' to the cashier in the supermarket.
If they cannot buy what they need in the supermarket, they can go to a special online website that they will find by looking on the internets. It is called Best of British, and on it you can get genuine, English sliced bread delivered to you at your house in France (because French bread isn't very nice):
Regular readers will be aware that I work in 'the advertising', so I am the first to admire Best of British to latch on to this Custard-Cream hungry, Daily-Mail reading group of consumers, but I wonder: can they sleep at night?
And yes, I'm a roaring snob. No. Let me be precise: I am not a snob, I just I hate that particular type of British person; the ones who say "France would be great - if it wasn't for the French!!!" in voices too loud in (French) restaurants; who drink lukewarm gin and tonics in their white plastic chairs; who miss Maggie, who can't pronounce the name of the French President (if they know his name at all), and who pretend to like wine.
Newsflash: seen today:
7 comments:
When in Germany I did eat German food (mmmm... thuringiawurst!) and buy at German shops and I honestly truly tried to speak the German to the Germans but after three stuttering sentences they always took pity and replied in flawless English. They were kind enough not to correct my grammatical errors in my own damn language. The French however cringed openly but allowed me to stagger through my entire greeting which usually went: "Hello! I am pleased to see you (formal) and enjoy much the fine (mis-gendered) item you have for sale! Please may I purchase two of this (mis-gendered) item?" If they didn't reply right away I always had to restrain myself from tacking on, "and the pen of my aunt is on the table."
I totally agree with you! I have friends who have bought houses in France and my parents are also considering it for their retirement. They all do this because the LOVE France and all things French, including the language. They go out of their way to avoid horrible Brits-Abroad. Have you thought about buying a gun? Is it legal there? ;o)
Surely it's far more snobbish to insist on speaking only your own language when living in a foreign country? I'd never miss Maggie, just give me one clear shot, that's all I ask.
Do you have a bit of a French-Canadian accent in French these days?
No way man. It's English + Parisian with a bit of rough pikey thrown in. That's why all boys who are French and/or French Canadian want to touch me with my 'cute' accent. I also want to touch all of them. With my tiny little monkey hands.
French Canadian accent brrr. There have been several of these on Star Ac recently including Roch Voisine and some repulsive giant called Garou. Horrid! Tell Celine she can hang on to them. Use them as occasional tables or something.There is quite enough physically blighted French droning without this.
This is totally off topic, sorry. We have one of those English shops in Brussels, called Stonemill or something. Sandmill. Twatmill. I have resisted, but the lure of SELF RAISING FLOUR is strong. I am not sure how much longer I can hold out.
Good god I just saw this jolly funny comment from you - Roch Voisine and Garou - that is my life, the whole time, non-stop. I feel for you. Twatmill!!!! agree re, SFR - here they call it cake flour and you can find it in tiny bags at the back of the shelf, like magical crack cocaine.
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