Regular readers will be aware of my views of the Best Western hotel chain. Not only did I have the very great pleasure of staying in one in Southport, but some weeks later, fortune drew me to Cheadle, where I stayed in another of their 'establishments'. "Why the bad hotels in dodgy parts of the North of England?", I hear you cry. A simple reason: dear friends marrying in places a very great distance from any other available hotel, a limited budget, a small car and a boot full of M&S patterned sockettes. But I digress.
It will come as no surprise that the news that the only hotel room available in Toronto this week was at the Best Western Primrose was met with some dismay. It is bad enough having to leave Montreal (interesting, fun, nice to look at, full of Frenchies) and go to Toronto (wishes it was New York; contains the CN Tower) to work, but having to leave Montreal to stay in a hotel that smells of death makes the whole commuting-to-Toronto-once-a-week arrangement make even less sense than it did at the beginning.
Still, in some ways my visit at the Best Western is pleasing, if only because it is reliably ghastly. For e.g.:
I check in
The receptionist is called Lindsay. She does not smile, or look at me in the face. The transaction is brief. The room card is left on the reception. I do not move. She glances up and shoves it at me. "This is your key". I leave.
I attempt to find a drink and light snack
I ring the button marked "Reception". There is an automated voice, much in the usual Best Western style. Eventually I speak to a real person.
Me: Do you have room service?
Person: No.
Me: Do you know where I can get a drink?
Person: No.
Me: Right. Just out of interest, if someone was desperate for a ham sandwich, could you do it?
Person: There is a Tim Hortons. Goodbye.
There is always a Tim Hortons, but I do not eat at Tim Hortons unless I am recovering from food poisoning and feel faint at Montreal airport.
I look about my room
It smells of death. The bathroom has black mouldy grout. The 'toiletries' have been used. There are two beds, and a kitchen that has nothing in it, not even a paper plate.
I make tea
It smells like an old ashtray.
I try to find the internets
It does not exist, unless I take it from the hotel next door.
I check the room rate
It is $209 a night. I am glad I am not paying.
16 comments:
Your font is of a size reminiscent of the large print romance section at the York and District public library, minky. I rather like.
I am now worried. Having made several members of my family stay in Best Western hotel down the road, without checking it out, I fear they will have concluded that I really really hate them and never wish them to visit again. This may explain a lot.
Also: everyone. Read Jaywalker's blog. It is better than this one. Fact.
Ah you are reminding me of the time I was forced to stay in a La Quinta out on the windy highway outside of Pasco, Washington. (Why, you ask? Why, work, of course.)
the whole place smelled of waffles, all the time, because of the make-your-own-damn-waffle breakfast room.
I asked the folks at the Pasco newspaper (where I was coaching the writers) if they knew some place I could get a drink, because the bleak highway where I was staying was nothing but Burger Kings and Subway Sandwich shops.
they said, "A drink?"
When I came back from my second day of coaching, I looked up toward my room and saw in the window next door a naked man staring out at men.
dammit i wrecked that comment with a typo.
the naked man wasn't staring out at men. at least, as far as i know he wasn't.
he was staring out at ME.
(but maybe he thought i was a man.)
Oh, minkey, I think that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me, at least since I moved to Belgium, where compliments are few and far between, unless you are made of chicory or wearing a handcrafted turban.
However I beg to differ. Yours is way better. We can continue this fight at your leisure.
Southport 'dodgy'?
Surely not!
Southport is in the north? How confusing.
We must all write BW and insist they remove the "best" from their name posthaste, for it is clearly a blatant lie unless what they are claiming to be best at is being worst. Now I've confused myself.
Also, this is what comes of going to Toronto. And working.
you need to stay in the best western in yreka california, it is totally fab...the problem with best western is that they are all independantly owned and so are very inconsistant in quality.
This is why I invariably sleep in only the finest of alleys. The quality is consistent, the locals pungent and educational (the things one learns in an alley!) and the atmosphere 'urban gritty' in the most fashionable sense of the word.
I always think of hotels as glamourous! and exciting! and refuse to be put off by your fairy tale stories of them not all being filled with ponies and roller-skates and delicious things to eat.
Oh dear. I have booked myself into a Best Western in Chippenham, on the grounds that it was cheaper than the Premier Inn on the weekend in question. (Premier Inns enjoy having wildly variable prices).
I may live to regret this hasty decision...
For the record:
Southport is fantastic, and only dodgy if you are staying in the Best Western.
Jaywalker's blog is still magnificent, and you should read it.
There is a place in England called Upper Slaughter, and a place called Lower Slaughter. That makes less sense than Southport being in the North, I assume.
Punxxi - do you work for them?
Leonie - it is ABSOLUTELY true, but the BEst Western chain is operated by devil-worshippers and practitioners of the dark arts - the kind that crush fairies and cut the horns of unicorns.
Anx? Are you there? Are you? Anx? Talk to us!
Du calme, NWM, du calme. I shan't be there until the 5th of July. After which, I shall report back...
no i'm a non working punxxi, for years and years now.:D
Interesting Best Western tale, I note, on Wife in the North too. Do go read, minky et al. It involves sausages.
I also wish to say to Laurie that he should ensure he never visits Belgium as the whole country smells of waffles.
It's true that Best Western Hotels/Motels/Inns are all owned by independant owners.
Some owners have deep pockets to care about their staff and about the proper maintenance of their buildings.
Others owners are just cash suckers who could careless about guests or their staff.
Exploitation is all they know.
Best Western International does NOT have and annoymous complaint line for staff who work at independantly own Best Western facilites.
So their complains are never heard or wanted.
So all in a lot of these BW hotels are high staff turn over because of the numerous issues and complaints that desk clerks are exposed too that the owners could careless about.
Best Western do have their own inspectors that come to check out the facilities without much notice, but mostly come when guests fill out those survey cards in their rooms and MAIL them because if you don't they will be throw into the garbage.
Yes I know because I worked at one and I know all the sneaky tricks the proprieters pull on BW inspectors.
If said room has a lot of issues and they think complaints were made about it, they will tell said inspector that the room is occupied so the inspector can't check it out.
There's numerous issues with this hotel chain and i'd advise everyone to BOYCOTT these chain, cause then and only then will the headoffice change their policy for change.
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