When one is trying to learn the customs of a new country (in my case, French Canadia, having come from the dank streets of South London), ordering a breakfast that contains an egg or two may teach you an awful lot - and jolly quickly, too!
Let me show you what I mean by using examples. (This is what scientists do. I think their lives must be hard, particularly when you consider the fact that anyone who is not a scientist is making it up.)
Example One
On 3rd December 2006, I ordered a mushroom omelette for breakfast in Montreal. When the plate came, it came with usual things (i.e. the omelette itself and some hot buttered toast*), which was nice. However, there was something else on the plate; something that should not be on the same plate as an omelette. And that thing was a fruit salad composed of fruits including melon, banana and pineapple, spewed over the plate like fructose-rich vomit.
"What is that doing there?", I whispered to my companion (a rather 'hunky' pathologist!), pointing a tremulous finger at a slice of melon the size of my own face.
"Well, see, you get fruit salad with breakfast here", he replied, chewing his man-toast and wiggling his eyebrows. "So, that's your fruit salad".
There was not much I could say to that, although to this day I cannot and will not recommend an omelette that has sat next to a seeping pineapple.
Example Two
This morning (23 September 2007), I ordered a mushroom and ham omelette for breakfast. I did not flinch at the fruit on the plate; in fact, I ate it (but after I had eaten the omelette).
It was all going quite well until I looked at my companion (a rather 'hunky' pathologist!), and then looked at his breakfast. He was eating a breakfast of ham, scrambled egg and pancake, which seemed reasonable enough; but then he picked up a flask of maple syrup and poured it over his scrambled egg.
"What are you doing?", I squeaked, thinking I had moved 3,300 miles to live with a killer.
"It's egg, ham and pancakes, but with maple syrup on it, see", he murmured, pouring another pint of sugar tree-juice across his man-ham.
"Is it NORMAL? I mean, is NORMAL to pour maple syrup on scrambled eggs?", I replied, barely able to look him in the eye.
He looked at me, eyes full of love and pity, and considered my question. "Well, it's not normal; it's a bit special. But it is within the range of acceptable behaviours, yes."
Whatever next!
* Ghastly expression; close relative of:
- fresh fruit salad
- crusty white loaf
- freshly baked wholemeal bap
- meal
- selection
- freshly milled black pepper
- crusted
- generously buttered
- moist
- pan-fried
- piping hot
- anal seepage
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20 comments:
Maple syrup is pretty much awesome on anything and everything.
I'm not sure about the fruit salad bit. Sometimes you might get a bit of orange or something but I've never got a full blown fruit salad unless it was mentioned on the menu.
And welcome to Canada. :)
Forget the fact it's maple syrup. This is more to do with when and where sweet goes with salty - but it's all about what you're used to, I suppose. (Ever tried marmite or gentleman's relish?)
As to the rest: fair point. Maybe it's just me, and the pathologist.
And thank you.
pan-friend?
mmm.
Yes. You press yourselves together, whilst covered in butter. It is excellent. I recommend it.
(thank you - I'll change it.)
I'm actually not sure what either of those are so I'll say no. :D
You know, I'm not actually convinced that final item belongs on that list! Nobody wants to eat a fruit-seeped omelette.
Here's what I would do (you are now in North America, even if not "America" itself, so I'm pretty sure you can do this): I'd order the fruit on the side.
It's so confusing that Katy and I are both Katy!
Oops, sentences came out in wrong order, my comment looks like the comment of an insane person. You know what I mean though.
"knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting in a fruit salad"
- peter kay.
Honey-cured bacon. With scrambled egg. In a bun. Now there's a tasty breakfast. No, really.
I have trouble with the maple syrup thing too. My breakfast partner will pour it over sausages and bacon, in the manner of HP sauce...
However, as my hunky Canadian lives with me in the UK and maple syrup costs a small fortune over here, it does restrain his usage somewhat.
Breakfast is vile anyway - I'm never awake enough to cook eggs properly (NOT too runny NOT too rubbery - my way involves several dishes, one non-stick pan and at least two Implements Of Cooking) and I don't trust anyone else to be able to either.
Yes, the tendency to pour sweet syrup over sausages, bacon, ham, eggs and just about anything on the plate is a North American breakfast habit of shame. At least it was maple syrup though (real?? Surely real...) and not boysenberry, blueberry or strawberry which are used extensively down here - basically it's ice-cream sauce ladled over your breakfast. Truly disgusting.
I am very fond of maple syrup myself and if I were you I would pour it over the fruit salad that comes with your omelette. It really is delicious. I was told that this was a Canadian thing to do, by someone who was married to a Canadian. Or was something lost in the translation?
Run the last entries of your asterisked list together and you have...
"crusted, generously buttered, moist, pan-fried, piping hot anal seepage"
Which I would guess, would be worse than maple syrup on eggs.
Dave said it.
oh, if you think this is unorthdox, wait until you have the poutine!
I love poutine. It makes sense. Sweet stuff on scrambled eggs doesn't. (I went out with someone once who made me scrambled eggs with raspberry vinegar. It was sort of ... perfumed. It made me puke in my mouth a bit.)
I've just found this maple syrup on breakfast thing, and love it. And, at least maple syrup is Good for you, well lots better than sugar.
What I really detest is the idea of chocolate rice krispies - what are we Doing to our children?!!
You see in a dirty way I like the idea of chocolate rice krispies glued together in a dirty morass of maple syrup and butter; a kind of bad-dirty-grown-up version of a rice krispie cake. (Here is what happens: "I must not eat sugar for a bit" becomes "talk to me about your dirty sweet crunchy cake", when I don't even like sweet stuff that much. Anyway. Where was I?
Dave always does.
I like maple syrup quite a lot but have yet to be taken to a cabane a sucre (sorry French speakers, I can't find the accents anywhere) and need to try more of it. "Nice on yoghurt, with a bit of fruit in" is where I got to.
Excellent with butternut squash and pumpkin - must be done correctly though - and can be really good with salmon (does this violate the sweet/salty law?). Also superb with apple crisp, and quite nice if used carefully on porridge. If you like porridge.
Maple syrup on EGGS??? Bleurgh. Or on sausages, for that matter. Must be a French thing.
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