The following things all feel excellent for ten seconds, but are always a mistake:
1. Emails written and sent when angry
2. Slamming doors when leaving meetings
3. Crying with frustration
4. Arguing in public loudly
5. Slamming someone's head in the lift doors
6. Weeing in people's bags
7. Slashing someone's bike tyres
8. Spitting in their packed lunch
9. Emptying a hole punch into their top drawer
10. Stealing someone's favourite pen
11. Calling someone you work for a cunt in front of other people
12. Smoking crack in the office
13. Drinking at lunchtime
14. Looking at a colleague's CV and saying, "wasn't that a polytechnic once?", or "You? An MBA?"
15. Taking a job just for the money
16. Saying "You know what? I don't care."
17. Saying "Do whatever you want. I'm past caring."
18. Saying "What do I think? Do you actually care?"
19. Getting involved (even by mistake) in office politics
20. Not punching people who deserve it.
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9 comments:
Err, you were supposed to leave your place of workingness in April. But it seems you are still there and therefore stressing.
Leave now. Sell your car, cat and flat. Sorted. And also non stressed.
Luckily I've never been in need of doing any of these. Apart from #20 of course, but hey, that's what a well-developed fantasy life is for.
Anyhoo, I empathize; all I can suggest is for you to put on headphones, close your eyes and listen to this at high volume - does wonders for me.
Look, it may have BEEN a polytechnic when I joined but I left a UNIVERSITY, alright!!!
sheesh
(you cunt, does that count?)
Oh.
Oh dear.
Can your next post be entitled something along the lines of "And what to do when..."
Weeing in someone's bag? Damn, I never thought of that.
Since when has drinking at lunchtime been a mistake?
H - I need the money.
Gordon - you SAY that.
Anna - resign?
Lisa - works a treat.
Z - if you're me, it's a disaster (based on my own personal experience)
J-boy - strangely effective.
Surely the non-working-ness must be calling you NWM? Maybe it's the sneaky squirrels behind it all to bring you back to London and terrorise you some more?
Oh dear. I think I've done all of those. Except number 12. But particularly number 15. I don't think there's ever been a job I haven't taken just for the money.
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