SHOP ONE
I have paid for my wares.
Me: Could I have a bag?
Shopkeeper: No.
Me: No?
Shopkeeper: I have no bags.
Me: How am I going to carry my things?
Shopkeeper: I do not know.
SHOP TWO
Preposterously 'fashion' shop selling attractive things for the discerning home, pretty bracelets, etc. Quite intimidating.
Me: I like your shop.
Shopkeeper: Thanks. I only have one third of the stock yet. You must come back!
Me: I will. But I feel very untidy! I will dress better next time.
Shopkeeper: (Looks puzzled) But you look really cool.
Me: Cool?
Shopkeeper: Yes. I noticed your clothes when you came in. Very cool.
Me: Very funny.
Shopkeeper: Come on. I'm Dutch. We don't know how to do ironic things. You look cool. Live with it.
Both these instances are entirely typical of the city in which I live (despite actually living in London). It is rather nice.
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2 comments:
I find this story a little upsetting due to the fact that during my first ever trip to the 'Dam a friend who lived there taught a friend and I a 'chat up line'.
It turned out to be the Dutch for "Can I have a carrier bag please." It would have been useful for you, but was pretty fucking useless in the places we frequented.
Jesus wept. Best comment of the year so far.
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