Here it is: The Best Western Royal Clifton Hotel, Southport. £94 a night for a hotel that smells of cabbage and death, and is decorated with damp wallpaper and chipped paint. If you call for Room Service, you are put through to an answering machine; if you ask for gin and tonic, they give you gin and soda. If you complain about the noise from the pub next door, they look at you in amazement and move you to a room that smells of chlorine.
Yes, my friends. £94. In fact, The Best Western Royal Clifton Hotel, Southport, is probably the worst hotel I have ever stayed in. But still, there is breakfast to get through tomorrow. Then and only then can I deliver my verdict.
In the meantime, you may enjoy the cover of the hotel guide I found in my room. (Yes, that's £94.)
4 comments:
If they can't get a gin and tonic right then your chances of a cheering breakfast seem slim. The Full English shouldn't be hard to get right but, oh my, those who manage to fuck it up do tend to be thorough about it (there's a place in Newquay, for instance, that I am ashamed to this day that I failed to burn down in retribution for the unspeakable violence it inflicted on my palate).
I stayed there about 15 years ago and the breakfast was excellent then. Looks lik it's gone downhill!!
I had a friend who would put dog poo in the kettle (tea making facilities) if he thought the room/hotel/food was very poor (he would find some nearby and scoop/scoop). He would then call reception the following morning (I was about to brew up etc.) in a rage and demand a full refund/compensation—very funny. I’ve never had the bottle to do it myself.
As it goes I've stayed in a Best Western in Russelsheim as well and it was fucking terrible. And one in Manchester. And Newcastle. All terrible. Best Western Hotels are truly, truly bad.
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