I think you may enjoy having a little click on this. Then scroll down. But not too fast. Otherwise you'll miss obedient number three, and sister number five's hat. (She likes horses.)
There is a chance that this is a joke, but I don't think it is. But just in case, look at this, a thing that is definitely not a joke.
And nor (or so it seems!) is this. Underneath the list of vegetables, you, like me, will I know be delighted to discover (a bit further down, under "Causes of chronic flatulence") that a lady called Denise has very kindly provided the world with an mp3 file of one of her flatulent episodes. Read on, and you will find an intriguing reference to "Kate losing her job at the funeral parlour, Denise having to leave her job as a lecturer and Julian's flatulence causing mental illness". Heavens!
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23 comments:
Oh it's definitely not a joke, even though it's Supremely funny.
Quoting from memory (Corinthians 2:16, I believe): "God loveth a girl who's always ready."
Or maybe it was RamJam who wrote that ? I may be getting my holy texts all mixed up.
J-boy: I am very glad it is not a joke! Your knowledge of the Bible is very impressive. Did you go to church a lot as a small child?
Is RamJam a saint in your country?
Interesting Flatuphobic site!
i want to meet those people. they're interested in polyester and they're god fearing. just my kind of people.
N-WM, have you got just a little too much time on your hands? Astonishing though the results are, of course, and much appreciated.
The picture of Jesus offering a small child to a clown scares the living shit out of me.
'Sixth daughter is 19 and always ready.'
Always ready for what, I wondered? Perhaps always ready in her role as understudy for one of the Von Trapp children?
Thanks for the laugh! (And if you find out more about Julian's mental illness, please let me know...)
Ms/Mr Maven (is that your given name?), hello and welcome. Extraordinary, isn't it. What's more extraordinary is that no-one has asked how I found it. I found it by putting the words "chronic flatulence" into Google. What I was doing inserting the words "chronic flatulence" into Google is another thing altogether, and not necessarily one I want to go in to here. (Nothing - for once - to do with me, despite my occasional post-cabbage 'issues'.)
Z - yes. That is the premise of this blog, as well you know, you naughty thing. However, if the conversation I have tomorrow afternoon has the result I am hoping for, I will be very busy and unable to blog for a long time, and then I will be in Canada and will not want to blog. Then you'll all be sorry. Oh yes.
Pete, have you seen the rock guitarist? Not good.
Ms Melancholy - my thoughts EXACTLY.
Lucy P, I love you so.
Oh, all RIGHT then. I was saving this for Easter but I will let you have it now on a private preview basis (meaning I still get to do something at Easter).
http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_life_of_jesus/the_last_supper/mt26_26a.html
Lord Ramjam is an important deity in the pantheon of One Hit Wonders.
Holy Mother of Nena ! I just listened to that fart file. Is it really wrong if I laughed my ass off (teehee) for the entire duration ?
Did Ramjam ever say anthing other than: "Whoa, black Betty, bamb-a-lam"?
I think your concern for daughter 6 is misplaced. Clearly our thoughts should be with the parents as daughter number 3 "doesn't want to get too far from her milk cow or the other animals for that matter". This all conjures up satanic thoughts and images of un-godly acts. I think the next collection plate should be an offering for her salvation from bestial temptation.
Someone pointed out to me that they don't have a profile for Daughter number 7 (at a guess) who has Down's Syndrome.
Mark. Exactly.
J-boy -can you help MM?
35 years of Marriage & 35 Years of Beard?
Just how many chewing gum "incidents"
*weeps with laughter*
Thank you for sharing the fart noises, NWM! Made me feel right at home.
I think I feel most sorry for daughter number three. I can guess a couple of reasons why she wouldn't want to leave her milk cow...(and, perhaps, why she isn't married), but I think I'll keep those to myself. :D
Tsk tsk, N-WM, I can't believe you'd make fun of the poor chronic flatulence people. Didn't you read the article? It clearly says that society should accept these people! I bet that if everyone listens to the wonderful recording Denise blessed us with, we can all go out very tolerant of other peoples "episodes."
Quoting from my ungodly memory for holy scripture (well, OK - from some lyrics website), I give you:
Oh, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
She really gets me high (Bam-ba-Lam)
You know that's no lie (Bam-ba-Lam)
She's so rock steady (Bam-ba-Lam)
And she's always ready (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Please ask if you need the rest of this immortal text.
I was actually amazed to find a longish wikipedia entry for Black Betty, the first recording of which was made in the 1930ies from a fellow with the delightful name of Iron Head. The origins of the song may even be from the 18th century.
And for once I am not kidding. I love the web (almost as much as I love lazy dogs).
Strangely enough, 'Black Betty' was being played as a trailer for a television programme we have in my country called "Lost" just as I read your comment, J-Boy dear. I must say, I like a man with a lot of information at his fingertips. Oh yes.
If you had to choose between the web and lazy dogs, which one would you choose?
Philip - it really is lovely to have you back. Do you think they know what chewing gum is? (Which reminds me, the doctor just told me that I can cure my deafness with chewing gum.)
Tiphanie - I feel Ashamed. I am hanging my head.
CLARE. It is YOUR COMPUTER not MY BLOG. You know that, don't you? i can't do anything about it. I wish I could, but I can't. I am sorry.
Ms B- MY WORD!!
Gosh, Mrs Bennett (Pride and Prejudice), you should be living at this hour. If there had been blogs in Jane Austen's day, Mrs Bennett would have made Elizabeth do just that to get her sisters married off. You know, a demure picture on the web with the caption, "Sews a fine seam", "handy in the dairy", "will accompany you on your great missionary work to Africa".
Daughter five loves her horses. There are specialist websites for that sort of thing.
Apparently.
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