My original ambition was to wrap the usually entirely supine Stupid Fat Cat in tinsel and photograph him, but he wasn't having any of it. However, this afternoon's "shoot" resulted in some strange pictures that I include here for your enjoyment, along with some photographs of some Christmas lights taken from a cab in the rain. Please do let me know which one you would most like to receive in the post. Don't say "none of them, they're all shit" - of course they're all shit: this is a hypothetical question.
Cat's Arse (Surprisingly Magnified) and Tinsel
Out of Focus Cat, With Tinsel
Trees And That Out A Cab Window, With Rear View Mirror
Two Trees Out A Cab Window
Stuff Out A Cab Window, With 'No Lorries' Sign
Send in your votes! And don't forget - I got Grade 'A' in Art A-Level in 1987, so I MUST know what I'm doing! (I have also just ordered a new camera, as the poor quality of my photography is nothing to do with me and everything to do with Sony.)
UPDATE!
I have just found this splendid photograph of Father Christmas in the bath, attended by a penguin with Champagne and some deers made of Lights. I think it may be a winner!
19 comments:
Although "Trees and that out of a cab..." was a festive contender, there is really no contest: hands down, it's "Out of focus cat...", which is actually a masterful representation of the elusive Ghost of Christmas Cats.
It's a shit joke, but my head hurts.
Y'must say it fast for it to wurts.
Out of focus cat definitely
and deer are like sheep and cannon- no s
Merry pedantry
UCL - Yes, I know the plural of 'deer' is 'deer', but isn't 'deers' so much funnier? And do you get out much?
Clare - Hmm yes but what about Santa?
J-boy - Not bad, considering.
(Assumes voice of Jeeves) May I counsel against using the out of focus cat with tinsel for your card, on account of the colour of your carpet. But for the colour of your carpet, that photo could not be mistaken for something else out of focus in the pages of a "top shelf" magazine. However, your carpet appears to be - ah - flesh-coloured.
*shimmers out*
My vote would be for the two trees performing high-kicks, viewed from your cab.
JESUS CHRIST. You're right. (But tinsel? Nice idea. I shall try it.) Very funny mind you. And I don't have carpet, I have floorboards like a twat. They look nice but let in drafts.
Oh yes.
Pussycat posterior---you can always edit out the carpet color. Actually a photo of Mr. Naughty statue with appropriate seasonal attire would be really good. But probably MM has already purchased him for you and is undergoing the task of how to wrap him and where to put the bow.
That penguin. I love his refusal to let go of the champagne, despite the fact that Santa is careening by with two luminous reindeer. That penguin is Un. Phase. Able. And has booze. He gets my vote.
Oh, now it's been pointed out to me, it HAS to be the out of focus cat!
Mmm hard to choose. I like the shaky cat. abit of a crop and add a cartoon face/whiskers drawn on it and it would be a winner. He could be the cat equivalent of the Bishop of Southwark.
The Santa looks like Cartman so gets my vote. It would look better cropped to get rid of the black line.
i like the santa with the light burning bright right between his eyes. and very cool raindeers too. i wonder if they look so ethereal in person?
You can't beat a penguin with a bottle of Champagne...well, you could, but I'd rather drink it.
Hello
First time visit for me and I would like my vote to go to the tinsel covered cats' arse.
It's original and I like it.
And for the inside of your card...
"Silver Balls, Silver Balls
It's Christmas time near the Kitty"
Ouch
Not the cat's arse! Have one with you and him having a cuddle and being friends together, it's christmas (hehehe)- Yes I know cat's arse is unusual but it might hurt his feelings (cats being human too and all). The ones out the cab window are lovely.
Me Monkey, can't we be havin' Beaver th'Beaver in tinsel for a card?
Or mayhaps Beaver th'Beaver in th'bath with a bevy o'beautiful balls o' th'holidays stacked about him -- ready t'fall on him like th'crush o'holiday shoppers, what?
You didn't MAKE that Xmas Bath photo did you?
If so, I am impressed.
And slightly scared.
Utter genius all of you. I have I am afraid gone with the Santa in the Bath and the Stuff with Rear View Mirror, which look rubbish printed out, but not as rubbish as they do on this. I am however sorely tempted by Cap'n and Apprentices creative suggestions.
On another note, does anyone know why stupid fat cat (who I hate) is making a sound that sounds like he's blowing raspberries? I give up.
it's a sound cats make when they want some t.l.c. give him a kiss - - he might turn into a prince!
(or I suppose he might be expressing an opinion about the arse card)
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