I have been to the Doctor! I never do this thing, unless something is bleeding or broken. Last time I went an Eminent Consultant's internal scanner ran out of power at an inopportune moment, so I have been slightly Wary of doctors ever since, unless they are not Doctors of Medicine but Doctors of other stuff, e.g. Water Conservation or Animals.
The new doctor was Old. As old as the hills, with shoes made of Cornish Pasties and white pubic hair for eyebrows. But she was nice and had kind hands. "Can I take your blood pressure?", she asked, after filling in a form asking for things ticked in columns labelled 'Clinical Pathology', 'Endocrinology' and 'Haematology'. "Of course!", I yelped. (Remember if you will that I am still diverted by All Things Medical as powerless internal scanners aside, I don't get much medical action.) It is then that she delivered some Very Surprising News.
Blood pressure machine: Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft. Pfffffffft. Pffft.
Doctor: Very good. You must do a lot of exercise. You're fit. Well done.
I'm going to have a little lie down.
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7 comments:
Well done you! Commence with the smoking and the absinthe!
Eat dark chocolate to enhance the fitness. Dried cranberries are nice with it, and red wine. All excellent health food
Sounds like a cause for celebration. Cake, anyone?
I was going to write something terribly witty about eating, but I see that I have been Beaten To It. Instead I shall congratulate you on your Iron Will and Fortitude.
(Can you have that on a pizza?)
Yay!
My blood pressure is a bit of a standing joke at the surgery. I suffer from "white coat syndrome", so I give high to very high readings at the doctor's surgery, but normal readings anywhere else.
Even though this is all documented in my notes, they still insist on taking it. I think they're just seeing how high it can go without me dropping dead.
But that personal trainer a pint!
Liked the pffffs very much.
yes, lucky you! my liver function tests, cholesterol, thyroid, something else I can't remember but no doubt v significant - all f***ed. but I don't grumble.
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