This is my new tablecloth. It is of the World and has Canada on it, complete with a cross-eyed bear. Beaver the Beaver likes it very much, as does the Stupid Fat Bastard Cat (who enjoyed skidding across it when it was laid on the floor).
I am delighted with it. I do not need it, at all, but it is Impossible to imagine my plush Brixton apartment without a tablecloth adorned with bears, penguins, cowboys and reindeer. (And kangaroos and that on Australia, but you'll have to trust me on that one.)
It has lifted my slightly grey mood and given me the energy to buy new towels (charcoal grey; white is only a good idea for two washes, unless you are called Barry Scott), a new bathmat (a miracle, as bathmats are by definition disgusting), some bathroom scales that are not 7lbs over (and therefore depressing) and a shower curtain that is not pretending to be a) fabric; b) a shoal of fishes swimming inexplicably in mid-air; c) a landscape containing amusing penguins.
John Lewis, you see. Works every time. Oh, and here's the cross-eyed bear in detail. Good, isn't he?
7 comments:
Very good, indeed.
My shower curtain is very dotty, and not fabric, but I'm growing tired of the blue dots I once loved. Maybe I shall go find me a new one, perhaps with beavers, as I find myself thinking of them frequently these days for some reason.
My friend had a song once about a cross-eyed bear. We thought it was very sweet, until we realised he was talking about "the cross I bear". We never listened to it after that.
I have had an account at John Lewis for 15 years and am one of their most "loyal" customers. I love "having an account at". When I was at boarding school, some of the more privileged fellow pupils were able to "put it on the account", eg birthday cake, usually at Harrods, large enough to feed an entire season's debutantes. I haven't yet bought a vast, thickly Royal-iced cake from John Lewis but probably only because this service has not yet been offered. Only, so far, a fax machine, fridge, cooker, bâteau lit, mattress, curtaining, duvets, digital camera, cafetière, and a million other bits and pieces.
I LOVE your new tablecloth. And oh my God! All my towels (since I threw the old ones away) are charcoal. You will not regret this decision.
When I was a child my parents had an account at Fortnum & Mason. They didn't care for Harrods.
What is that bluey-greeny creature that defines central Africa, if you please?
"What is that bluey-greeny creature that defines central Africa, if you please?"
It's either a snake or gumby
Good Lord, the bear must have eaten Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia, because they're gone.
Post a Comment