Day 139: I Am Writing A PowerPoint Presentation, And Conducting Further Research Into The Canada

I haven't written a Powerpoint presentation for months. I hate them, as it goes. Some years ago, I managed to find a way of condensing an entire argument onto one A2 piece of board and single sheet of A4 paper. Not only was this a cunning Time Saving Device, but it stopped people dozing off at the back of a room as flies committed hara-kiri against the endless sheet glass windows and biscuits softened in the afternoon heat.

However, most people are reassured by a PowerPoint presentation, as they feel they are Meaningful and have taken a long time to write, despite being 114 pages long and mainly full of the words "irrelevant bollocks that no-one's really interested in, that I have copied from somewhere else and re-ordered in the hope that no-one will notice because they will be asleep."

But today for the Work I am writing a Powerpoint Presentation! I am having such fun, you would not believe! Here is a document that is one million words long. Now please make it into a few slides. OK then, I will! Now that's what PowerPoint's for.

Meanwhile, as global strategies are summarised in two lines, I am doing some further low-level research into the Canada, or more specifically, Mooses.

Some of them are very fat, maybe because they have been eating maple syrup and poutine.

















They have facial hair, like everyone in Montreal (apart from the ladies, unless they have a hormonal disorder):























When they go out together, they like to wear matching clothes so they don't lose each other. (If they go abroad, one of them holds a fluorescent sign that says "Mooses Ici" on it, assuming the Mooses are Quebecois.) As it is often chilly in Canada, they take care to wrap up warm. Sometimes, they wrap up in matching clothes, which kills two birds with one stone. That makes them happy.























And finally, having laboured under the misapprehension that a Moose was perhaps the size of a Large Horse, but with a bigger nose and enormous antlers, I was astonished to find that not only is a Moose smaller than an average-sized man but that (a little like the rabbit and his ears), they are most comfortable when being held up by their antlers.

The internet is a wonderful thing, my friends. You should try it!